Saturday, April 14, 2007

A Message To The Ladies !

Look out, ladies, I'm in one of those moods. I'm just sittin' back, having a scotch and chillin'. Come on in, sit down for a spell. I'll make you a drink and we'll listen to some sounds. You look more exquisite than ever and your perfume is tantalizing. If you'd like, take off your shoes and I'll massage your feet. How's that feel?

Oh, the pictures? Just some pictures of my friend Barry White and his family. Take a look if you like while I prepare your drink.

Did you know that in 1828, Noah Webster, an American Lexicographer published his first edition of the American Dictionary of the English Language? Yes, I use it often to look up new words to describe how beautiful you are..... You know ordinary words just don't seem appropriate in the same sentence with your name. When I'm with you I always feel content, unlike in 1865, when Confederate malcontent, John Wilkes Booth, assinated President Abraham Lincoln this very day.

Sweetheart, you are more beautiful than any actress I've ever seen in the movies. You know British actor Sir John Gielgud, who was born today in 1925, always said real women don't need movies to accentuate their beauty and I agree completely. The sunshine on your face is the only lighting you need. As a matter of fact, Loretta lynn, the beautiful country-music singer was also born today in 1941. I'm happy that you're with me today, my love. You complete me.

Let me turn the lights down and let's listen to Barry.

                                    

You know, the hits just keep on coming when you're with me, my love. Come over and sit beside me and let me hold you.

(Stay Tuned !)          

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Friday, April 13, 2007

It's Friday The Thirteenth !

This weekend has some uncomfortable dates. Today's Friday the Thirteenth and Sunday is April 15, Tax day. I can handle today's number but April 15th has always make my stomach hurt, especially after getting numbers from my accountant. Be that as it may, let's have a fun weekend and let the chips fall where they may!

We had a nice time last evening at Krystel's celebrating Dr. Marc's birthday! Rosie brought a nice cake and we had a lot of friends there, including Hector, Lourdes and their daughter and my girlfriend, Cristina, Lydia and her daughter Ivana, Dr. Saca Muela, Fermin (who had just driven back from Arkansas where he performed with K.C. and the Sunshine Band), Emilio, Brenda, Mario, and Guillermo. Dr. Marc asked me to thank the readers who wished him a happy birthday.  

This weeks winner of the coveted "Cat Ass Trophy" is (A) Al Sharpton. Always a contender for the award, Al outdid himself this week! For the last two days the media has axed him if he's now going after the hiphop artists who not only originated the words used in this week's controversy, but continue to blatantly degrade women to the nth degree. He has assured the media that that is his next goal. You 'da man, Al.

The Pictures: 1) Al Sharpton 2) Paul Mccartney, today's featured artist 3)...........!

Here's Paul McCartney, today's feature artist, performing "Get Back".

                     

This Date In History: 1943; U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt dedicates the Washington Memorial in Washington, D.C. 1964; Sidney Poitier becomes the first black American  to win an academy award for "Lilies of the Field". 1970; An oxygen tank explodes aboard aboard the U.S. lunar landing mission Apollo 13 as it nears the moon forcing the astronauts to return to earth. 1997; Golfer Tiger Woods, 21, becomes the youngest golfer to win the Masters Tournament.

Birthdays: Thomas Jefferson, 3rd President of the United States and author of the Declaration of Independance (1743), Franklin Winfield Woolworth, merchant (1852), Samuel Beckett, playwright, poet and Novelist (1906).

I couldn't help throwing in the photo of this genius.

                      

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: (Thank's to my sister,Jeanne)

A long married couple were in bed, when the husband reached over and touched his wife's right leg. Her heart rate began to increase as he then rolled over her and began to move his hand up and down her left leg. Her heart was racing as he then brushed her breast as he moved his right hand under her right shoulder. He bruptly stopped and returned to his position.

"Don't stop, Baby", she purred. "That's ok, Sweetie", He replied, "I found the remote."

Nascar goes to Texas Speedway this weekend. It should be an exciting race.

That's it for today, my little remote hiders. More tomorrow. See you tonight at Krystel's.

Stay Tuned ! 

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Thursday, April 12, 2007

It's Just Been One Of Those Days !

Some days you should just get back in bed and wait for tomorrow. I'm short tempered to begin with. Combine that with obsessive compulsive behavior and mild dyslexai (I hope someone gets it this time, as I've done it in past entries) and you have an idea of how my days start out under normal conditions. Now, add a tablespoon of two days of rushing around and putting out fires and the situation becomes clearer. Sprinkle in a heavy rainstorm that cut off the electricity, re-booting the computer that went apeshit and add Al Sharpton up your ass every 5 minutes on CNN and there you have it. The Caca has hit the proverbial oscillator (the shit hit the fan for the hard of understanding! You're sick. Back off, Buckwheat ! ok, ok)

CBS fired Don Imus about 15 minutes ago. I spent most of last evening emailing MSNBC about their firing of Mr. Imus and tonight I'll be emailing CBS. MSNBC sat on their ass and did zip until the greenbacks started  being pulled and all of a sudden they've got morals (like Howard K. Stern?). Polls at AOL and TMZ.com have the majority of the voters against the firing of Mr. Imus.

I'll be editing today's entry often today because if I don't save it, I could lose my connection again. People with alerts, please excuse me. 

The Pictures: 1) Chicago, today's featured artists. 2) My pal, Doctor Marc. Today's his birthday.

This Date In History: 1861; The American Civil War begins when Confederate troops open fire on Union-held Fort Sumter in South Carolina's Charleston Bay. 1945; U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt, recently elected to a record fourth term, dies of a cerebral hemmorrhage; Vice President Harry S. Truman is sworn in.  1955; The polio vaccine prepared by physician Jonas Salk is released for general use to the public. 1961; Soviet cosmonaut Yuri Gugarin, aboard Vostok 1, is the first man to travel in space.

Here's today's featured artists, Chicago playing "What Time Is It". I hope you enjoy it.

                                  

Birthdays: My pal, Doctor Marc (1887), David Letterman, TV entertainer and talk show host  (1947).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: The elder lady spoke with her doctor after being prescribed a medication. She asked, "Will I have to take this medication the rest of my life?" The doctor replied, "Yes, I'm afraid so". The woman said, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because it says 'no refills' ".

That's it for today, my little April showers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned ! 
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Wednesday, April 11, 2007

It's Wednesday And I'm Gonna Party !

Well, at least it's Wednesday. That's probably what Howard K. Stern said this morning. Bye Bye, meal ticket. Me? I'm heading to Krystel's and hang with my pals. That's one of the reasons I look forward to Wednesdays. 

Sanjaya's still on American Idol and after hearing excerpts of his song, I must admit, it wasn't bad (It wasn't Sinatra. I know).

The feeding frenzy on Don Imus' ass is still going strong. Although somewhat deserved, he's seeing more people jumping on the "Fire Imus" bandwagon than the same people who jumped off the "Electrocute O.J." bandwagon. Kinda makes you wanna move back to New Orleans, don't it.  

The Pictures: 1) Larry Birkhead and Dr. Baird, who performed the DNA testing on baby Danielynn. 2) Larry Birkhead and Howard Stern. 3) Air Supply, today's featured artists.

This Date In History: 1951; U.S. President Harry S. Truman relieves General Douglas MacArthur from his command during the Korean War. 1970; Apollo 13 blasts off toward the moon; an explosion 2 days later forced astronauts to abort the mission and make a daring return to earth.

Birthdays: Edward Everett, U.S. statesman, educator and orator  (1794), Charles Evans Hughes, Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court (1862).

Here's today's featured artists, Air Supply.

                      

 

The Hits Just Keep On coming: These jewels come from my pal, Victor. The states are picked at random. what? shut up ! 

A Louisiana man died and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow, however, she can't touch it until she's 14. The minimum drinking age in Kentucky has been raised to 32 because they want to keep alcohol out of schools. In Mississippi, reruns of "Hee Haw" are referred to as documentarys. The best thing to come out of New York City is Interstate 95. In Alabama, a trooper stopped a pickup truck and asked the driver, "Got any I,D.? The driver replied, " 'bout what?" Recently, the Governor's mansion in Arkansas burned down. In fact, it took out the the whole damned trailer park. In Detroit, the people now go to movies in groups of 18 or more after being told 17 and under are not permitted. How can you tell if a man from Texas is married? There's dried tobacco spit on both doors of the pickup truck.

That's it for today my little moonshiners. More tomorrow. See you tonight at Krystel's. 

Stay Tuned !  

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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

We Need Another Trophy ! LARRY'S THE FATHER 3:50 P.M.

After listening to the press conference of the Rutgers women's basketball team, I decided that we need a new award and trophy. In the aftermath of the Don Imus and Al Sharpton controversy, the team responded in a very dignified manner. Keep in mind that the underdog team was never expected to make the final four and lost in the championship game. The team should have been congratulated by the media for their excellent showing. Instead, they made the limelight due to a bonehead remark made by Don Imus, followed by Al Sharpton running into the night screaming, "the sky is falling, the sky is falling." 

Don Imus is now on his apolgy tour and received a two week suspension for his stupid remarks. As for (A) Al Sharpton, my suggestion is that if he so offended and hurt, perhaps he should continue his pretentious crusade to the hiphop and rapper nation, who were the creators of  this type of insulting phrases. Oops, I forgot. You can, we can't.   

The idea for the proposed new award entered my mind just minutes before I started this entry. I haven't decided the name of the award nor it's trophy yet, but the intent of the award would be to counter balance the coveted "Cat Ass Trophy" awarded to the "Asshole Of The Week". The award would go to someone who did something admirable and intelligent. I'll have more on this proposed award as time passes. Suggestions are welcomed.

The Pictures: Diana Krall, today's featured artist. I've also included pictures of Don Imus, Al Sharpton and.........?

The hearing on the DNA results of baby Danielynn was due to start  at 2:30 p.m. today. As of yet there have been no releases. As soon as something comes in, I will let you know. 

3:50 P.M.: LARRY'S THE FATHER ! They just came out of the courtroom in the Bahamas and Larry Birkhead has been declared the father of Anna Nicole Smith's Baby, Danielynn. Details are sketchy at this time and another hearing has been scheduled for Friday, ostensibly to work out the details. 

Here's Diana Krall, today's featured artist.

                                  

This Date In History: 1790;  The first U.S. patent law, protecting inventions from piracy, is approved. 1866;  The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) is founded in New York. 1912;  The British luxury liner, Titanic, sails on it's maiden voyage; five days later it sinks after hitting an iceberg.

Birthdays: My friend, Barbie. Happy Birthday Baby ! (19XX),  William Booth, religous leader and founder of the Salvation Army (1829),  Joseph Pulitzer, journalist and newspaper publisher (1847), Clare Booth Luce, playwright, legislator and diplomat (1903),  Omar Sharif, actor (1932),  Cheetah, chimpanzee star of the famed Tarzan movie series  (1932). 

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: It dawned on me today that Edward Scissorhands would have difficulty peeing. Dangerous at best, circumcision at worst, I can't fathom how he could function in life, with the exception of being a butcher or a rabbi. 

That's it for today, my little chimps. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned ! 
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Monday, April 9, 2007

It Might As Well Be Monday !

You have to call it something, so let's call it Monday. Probably the least popular day of the week, it has it's place. It buffers Tuesday, the knuckle down day of the week from Sunday, the day of rest. I think "Mundane Day" has a better ring, but that's just me. 

We have two early nominees for this week's "Cat Ass Trophy". MSNBC's Don Imus of the "Imus In The Morning Show" and Perennial (A) Al Sharpton.

Don Imus, although sometimes acid tongued, is usually a witty and humorous type. He and his wife run a free camp for children with cancer and though he sometimes nears the line, he normally doesn't cross it. Over the weekend, he referred to the Rutgers women's basketball team as a bunch of "nappy headed ho's." Not real bright, Mr Imus. 

Al Sharpton, who yells "racist" if you ask for black coffee, is a different story. He along with Jesse Jackson, is always there to jump on the ebony bandwagon like a fly on manure. Imus went on Al Sharpton's radio show today to apologize for his stupid remark and Sharpton said to him, "Le me ax you a question. Are you going to resign from you show?" Imus replied, "No." (You 'da man, Al!)

The Pictures: Today's featured musical artist, Harry Connick, Jr.

                                  

This Date In History: 1865;  Confederate General Robert E. Lee surrenders his troops to Union General, Ulysses S. Grant at Appomattox, Virginia, paving the way  for the end of the Civil War. 1970;  Paul McCartney announces the official breakup of The Beatles (gasp!).

Zach Johnson won the Master Golf Championship Sunday and the coveted Green Jacket at Augusta. Tiger Woods held the lead briefly but faded. 

Birthdays:  Eric Ludendorf, German officer and World War I strategist (1865),  Sir Robert Helpman, actor and dancer, (1909),  Jean-Paul Belmondo, actor (1933).

TMZ.com has reported that Howard K. Stern has said he would not stand in Larry Birkhead's way if tomorrow's hearing for the DNA tests show Birkhead is Dannielynn's father.  

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Someone has put a self portrait of Anna Nicole Smith on Ebay to the tune of $1,700,00 dollars. Ah, ya gotta love opportunists.

Cryptic and Blatant Hello's: My Perfect Martini, Tania, Indigo, Mary, Marc,Rosie,Danny and Chico, Jackie, Emilio and Melina, Carmen, Possum S. Hemmingway, Lourdes,Hector and Cristina, My Sweet Nicole, J.C., Barbie, Carlos Oliva, Brenda, Victor, Lydia and Al, Kristen, Pam, Stupid Jimmy, Joe at AOL, and the rest of my little sweet pies (You Know Who You Are).  

That's it for today, my little Easter eggs. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !  

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Sunday, April 8, 2007

Happy Easter !

Happy Easter my little bunnies. I knew it was time to make today's entry when my little sister, Jeanne, called me and asked why I had not made my entry, so here it is, sweets (By the way, I found two of the three easter eggs I hid. That's 'cause I showed you!)

Take it to the limit ! That's today's subject, althought not directed to the A-list. No, I mean you (you know who you are. what?). It's also the featured song of the day by "The Eagles". Take a chance, try something new (like, make a comment today. Don't be shy). Write a run-on sentence, put extra sugar in your coffee, send me money (You're sick! I know). The main gist is life is short. Stop and smell the roses.

The Pictures: Women Drivers: I know this is going to get me in trouble, but life is short (It'll be shorter when the girls read this. I know). Here are some pictures sent to me by my friend, Beverly. These are real, so as the song goes "Don't Blame Me". And....the usual trailing pictures that one never knows, do one?

This Date In History: 1973; Spanish painter, Pablo Picasso, dies in his villa in France at age 91. 1974; In Atlanta, baseball great, Hank Aaron, hits his 715th home run surpassing the record held by Babe Ruth.

I am a stickler for English, especially spelling. This amuses me as I make today's entry in that I am obsessive compulsive and border line dyslexci. I recall asking my fifth grade teacher how to spell a word and he said, "Look it up in the dictionary." I thought, "How do I look it up when I don't know how to spell the damn thing?" 

Here's today's musical artists, " The Eagles" singing "Take It To The Limit".

                                   

Birthdays: Buddha, founder of Buddhism (563 B.C.), Mary Pickford, actress (1893), Jim "Catfish" Hunter, baseball pitcher (1946).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming ! A-Alert, There are a few candidates for nomination for next week's "Cat Ass Trophy". If you have a nominee, please comment and I'll submit to the judges (My cat, Shithead and I) for consideration. Things are in place for Tuesday's hearing on the DNA results of Anna Nicole Smith's baby, Danielynn. Dr. Michael Baird, DNA expert from Ohio will be there to verify his findings along with Larry Birkhead. If the DNA matches, the "caca" will hit the proverbial fan.

That's it for today, my little daredevils. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

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Saturday, April 7, 2007

It's Been A Hard Day's Night !

I'm sorry for the cheesy headline (it must have been the viagra). I remember the first time I heard The Beatles (I was four). I was driving my '55 metallic blue Ford (four on the floor) and I switched stations to WQAM (AM). I heard this new sound and I really liked it. It was entitled "She Loves You" and the artists were called "The Beatles". After it finished, I switched to WFUN and it was playing again. When I got home, I told my brother, Kirt, about The Beatles and he had just heard them too.

Since we had a band and we were supposed to perform that evening, we wrote down the words (and the lyrics) and kept switching radio stations 'til we learned the song. I can't tell you just how lucky we got that night, but suffice to say, all the girls were crazy about The Beatles and like (A) Howard K. Stern, we milked it to death and jumped on the proverbial bandwagon.

With that in mind let me present today's features artists, The Beatles, performing Sargent Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band. Who knows? If enough of you young ladies like the song,......Deja Vu? (all over again?). 

                                   

The Pictures: John, Paul, George and Ringo...The Beatles. I've also added a couple of pictures of my friend, Mercy Silva. You'll hear more about her in the future.

This Date In History: 1919; The Original Dixieland Jazz Band, the first band to record it's music, debut in London; it's song "Tiger Rag" becomes popular. 1940; Booker T. Washington becomes the first black pictured on a postage stamp. He later formed a band called Booker T. and the MG's. 1980; U.S. President Jimmy Carter breaks off diplomatic relations with (A) Iran during the hostage crisis. 

Birthdays: Saint Francis Xavier, jesuit missionary (1506), William Wordsworth, poet (1770), Billie Holiday, singer (1915), Ravi Shankar, sitarist and composer (1920), Francis Ford Coppola, film director (1939), Tony Darsett, football player (1954).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: "Asshole Of The Week", Debra Opri wins the "Cat Ass Trophy". (How would you like to wake up with that face staring at you?).

                            

That's it for today, my sweet little peppermints. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

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Friday, April 6, 2007

It's A Good Friday !

It's a good Friday, they always are. This Friday is Good Friday for the Catholic religion and that means Sunday is Easter. I like Easter! My mother made me an Easter basket every year until she passed away. It was always a little difficult explaining to my three children why Grandma made me an Easter basket, too (I always looked to see if mine was the best, 'cause I'm a little spoiled. Really? Shut up !). I also like Easter because I can hide my own Easter eggs.

Playboy will be paying a 10 page tribute to the late Anna Nicole Smith in it's May 2007 issue. Translation: She ain't got no clothes on and we're jumping on the bandwagon 'cause she's a cash cow.

The American Idol viewership has fallen compared to last season and each episode has been watched less. I don't know if it's because of Sanjaya, but the circus atmosphere of the show would be my guess. Theoretically, An intelligent emcee, one person, one vote ($.50 per vote) and no (A) judges would be the way to go, but that's just me. Word is that the finalists are none too happy over the Sanjaya catastrophe.

The Pictures: 1) Playboy's cover page of Anna Nicole Smith. 2) The finalists of the American Idol show. 3) Elvis Presley 4).......Ya never know, do ya?

                      

 

This Date In History: 1830;  Joseph Smith founds the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 1896;  The first modern Olympic Games are held in Athens, Greece. 1909;  American explorer, Robert Peary along with Mathew Hewson and four Inuit guides are the first recorded people to reach the North Pole. 1917;  The United States declares war on Germany and enters World War I.

I'm sort of coining a new "keyword", if you will. Starting today the (A) list will have a whole new meaning, only understood by you, my intelligent little readers. Don't worry, the term (asshole) will remain an integral part of our verbage. So, in the future, look for the "A-List". 

Birthdays: Raphael, painter (1483), Harry Houdini, magician (1874), Walter Huston, actor (1884), Andre Previn, pianist, conductor and composer (1929) Merle Haggard, country music singer and songwriter  (1937).

I don't think I need to tell you who today's featured artists is, but it's Elvis Presley (just in case). This video was taken when Elvis appeared in Las Vegas and it was really a rehearsal for the following night's show. It was video-taped and it went so well that HBO aired it also.    

That's it for today my little Easter bunnies. More tomorrow. See you tonight at Krystels Restaurant and Nightclub. The first drink's on you !  

Stay Tuned ! 

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Thursday, April 5, 2007

Headline ? I Don't Need No Stinkin' Headline !

Although I have a general idea (?) of what I want to write each day in my journal, I don't write anything down except Birthdays and This Date In History (I do occasionally forget to write down some dates, but I just make up my own. You do? Yes, I do ! You're sick. I know). One of the main things I should have in mind when I start to write is a headline, this normally being the theme that one would be expected to follow. As a rule, this is not a problem, except for Thursdays and Saturdays, since Wednesday and Friday evenings are spent at Krystel's Restaurant.

Today, as you might have noticed, I obviously don't have a headline. This is due to the fact that I spent last evening with my pals Lydia and Alfonso, Doctor Marc and Rosie, Dr. Saca Muela, Melina and Emilio, and Arthur, a good friend I haven't seen in a while. Arthur's excuse in coming in late for a Sambuca was that he saw my car parked outside (right). I also have a problem today with walking and chewing gum at the same time.

The Pictures: Thanks to my friend, Beverly, for these cute pictures of Baby and Dog ( and no, the dog wasn't my date last night, although she is attractive).

This Date In History: 1614; Pocahontas, daughter of native American chief, Powahatan, marries American colonists, John Rolfe, in Jamestown, Virginia. 1951; U.S. citizens, Jules and Ethel Rosenberg, are sentenced to death for spying for the Soviet Union. 1976; Billionaire Howard Hughes dies in Houston Texas.                               

                                  

Birthdays: Booker T. Washington, educator; He later joined with the MG's to form a musical group (1856), Spencer Tracy, actor  (1900), Bette Davis, actress (1908), Gregory Peck, actor  (1916), General Colin Powell, U.S. Army (1937).

Howard K. Stern ("A-1st class"), is in discussions with attorney Lin Ward, who specializes in defamation of character suits (I believe you need to have character in order for same to be defamed). Ward previously has represented Patsy and John Ramsey in defamation suits against Time, Court TV, Fox News  (really ?), and others. Good Luck, Mr. Ward, you've got your work cut out for you ! 

State Mottos: (Thanks to sweetie pie, Beverly) Alabama:  Hell yes, we have electricity. California:  By 30, our women have more plastic than your Honda. Florida:  Ask us about our voting skills. Indiana: Two billion years tidal wave free. Iowa:  We do amazing things with corn. Kentucky:  Five million people, 15 last names. Louisiana:  We be signing petitions for help. Here's a few; x,x,x,x,xjr. Montana:  Home of the Unabomber. New Jersey:  You want a #X$%& motto? I got yer #X$%& motto right here. New York:  You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney. Texas:  Se habla Ingles. Wisconsin:  Cut the cheese. Wyoming:  Where men are men....and sheep are scared !       

That's it for today, my little baby cuddlers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned ! 

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