If At First You Don't Succeed, Leave Earlier !

Once again the evening beckons and I am planning to venture into socialworld tonight and spend some time with my pals in AREA 51 at a location to be determined. Perhaps the actual wording should be that I'm determined to find a location. Semantics aside, my tentative plan is to head out (to somewhere) early and let the potential rain, wind and lightning trap me at the bar and not in my home.

Proctology As A Career?: As I finish making today's entry, I am simultaneously watching Seinfeld. It's the episode where Kramer is mistakenly given an auto tag belonging to a proctologist. As I watched the episode, it suddenly dawned on me that someone consciously made an early decision in life to become a physician, specializing in proctology.

                    

Call me silly, but if I were in college studying to be a doctor, somehow I don't believe the study of proctology would be my first choice. There's just something about that part of the anatomy that I really don't care to know about.

The Cat's Ass Trophy has had no nominees as of yet, but I'm relatively sure that in our ever growing world, someone's going to crawl from underneath a rock and do something stupid before Monday at noon. That's the cut off date for this week's CAT Award my little nominators, so keep your eyes and ears open and nominate someone.

The Pictures: Landscapes are the order of the day and if by chance you see some of your pictures in the mix it's because I "borrowed" them. If, for some inane reason I remember that's it's yours, I'll mention your name. If not, be kind and remember that you, too, will begin losing your mind sooner or later.

In the interim, I'll give due credit to the following journalists because I'm sure I've borrowed a few things from your journals. Kudos to: Nancy, Beth, Pamela, Garnett, Gary, Jackie, Anne, Missie, Julie, Jude, Indigo, Sherry, Robin, Linda, Andy, Myra, Kelly, Pat, Rose, Meg and Michelle. Phew ! I should have put them in alphabetical order, but it's too late now.

Authors Note: View these pictures larger, you'll be pleasantly surprised.

This Date In History: 1597; On his third voyage in search of a northwest passage from Europe to Asia, William Barents, the Dutch navigator after whom the Barents Sea was named, dies after spending a winter frozen in the Arctic Ocean. 1837; Following the death of her uncle, William IV, Queen Victoria takes the British throne at age 18, beginning a reign of 63 years, the longest in British history. 1863; Led by Union loyalists unhappy with Virginia's secession from the United States in 1861, the mountainous western state of Virginia forms its own government and becomes West Virginia, the 35th state.

1893; After a sensational murder trial, Lizzie Borden is acquitted of the axe murders of her father and stepmother in Fall River, Massachusetts. 1910; After spending much of her teen years performing in burlesque and vaudeville, Fanny Brice first appears in Florenz Ziegfield's "Follies of 1910", the show that makes her famous. 1948; "Toast of the Town," a variety show hosted by Ed Sullivan, debuts on CBS. Later known as "The Ed Sullivan Show," it runs until 1971 as one of the most popular programs in American television history.

Birthdays: Lillian Helman, playwright (1905), Errol Flynn, actor (1909), Audie Murphy, war hero and actor (1924), Brian Wilson, Beach Boys songwriter and producer (1942).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

The Queen was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the royal stable, when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn't be ignored. "Oh dear," said the Queen, "How embarrassing. I'm frightfully sorry about that." "It's quite understandable," said the Archbishop, and after a moment, added, "as a matter of fact I thought it was the horse."

After examining the man's wife, the doctor told her husband, "Your wife either has Alzheimer's or AIDS." Her husband replied, "How can we find out which?" The doctor said, "I need you to run a little experiment this weekend. Take your wife to a park and leave her there. If she finds her way home, don't have sex with her."

                          

That's it for today my little onion wrings. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

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It Was A Dark And Stormy Night......

Someone needs to tell the powers that be that rainy nights are meant to start later in the evening. It started drizzling last evening just about the time that I got out of the shower. Unswayed by the winds, rain and lightning, I continued to dress because I, much like the heralded postman, have my own mission and neither rum, nor schnapps, nor Schlitz, nor something will prevent this courageous courier from the (somewhat) swift completion of his appointed rounds.

Actually, lightning has a way of closing my sphincter muscle to the point that it actually causes aging. I can handle the rains and winds, but lightning ofttimes forces me to yell out that old warning, "women, children and journalists first."

With those thoughts in mind, I am proud to tell you that I went out my front door, opened my umbrella and a bolt of lightning hit within fifty yards of my proximity. Like the mighty warrior that I am, I turned and ran back into the house, screaming like a campfire girl. Nay, my little lightning rods, mama didn't raise no fool. I surrendered the evening to the elements and was forced to sit at home alone. Thankfully, my friend Johnny Walker was there to console me. 

ABC News issued orders yesterday forbidding reporters to wear lapel pin American flags or other patriotic insignia. Their reasoning was that ABC should remain neutral about "causes."

Patriotism is a "cause?" I hope so! In a time that you have to refer to illegal aliens as illegal immigrants and you don't know whether to order black coffee or african-american coffee lest you "offend" someone, now they don't want you to wear an American flag lapel pin?

It seems that the only ones that can stand up and make noise are the ones who are normally causing all the trouble. It's time to tell the politically correct crowd to kiss my white American ass!

Author's Note: The report mentioned in the preceding paragraphs have been checked out and verified at http://www.snopes.com/rumors/noflags.asp

The Pictures: Lately my little animal buddies have been seen only in their elements, so I sent them emails and asked them if they would dress up a little for a photo shoot. They agreed and here are a few of the better dressed as judged by my cat, Shithead. 

This Date In History: 1846; The New York Knickerbocker Base Ball Team, organized by Alexander Cartwright, meet the New York Nine in Hoboken, N.J., in the first baseball game played under Cartwright's rules. 1953; Americans Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, convicted of passing nuclear weapons information to the Soviet Union, are executed. 1984; The Chicago Bulls pick Michael Jordan of the University of North Carolina in the NBA draft.

Birthdays: James I, of England, English and Scottish king (1566), Lou Gehrig, professional baseball player (1903), Abe Fortas, Supreme Court justice (1910), Salman Rushdie, novelist (1947).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: The following video was provided to me by my friends as an instructional tool for tequila drinkers. It is also the reason I quit drinking tequila.

                                                    

Annoyed by the professor of anatomy who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest.

The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time. Then, halfway through the lecture, he began. "They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France."

The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door. "Young ladies," said the professor with a broad smile, "the next plane doesn't leave till tomorrow afternoon."

A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there.

She asked if there was something she could help  the gentleman with. The man said "this is embarrassing  for me, but I have a permanent erection which causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?"

The pharmacist said "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister." When she returned, she said, "the best we can do is 1/3 ownership in the store and $3000 a month in living expenses.

That's it for today my little sunflower cedes. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

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Tonight's A Good Night To Paint The Town !

Woo Hoo! It's Humpday and I feel like that "it's bacon" dog! Since I was a good boy Monday and Tuesday, they're releasing me from the home on a 24 hour pass. Little do they know that it doesn't take me that long. On second thought, maybe I'll keep that little tidbit to myself.

Speaking of tidbits and that "bacon" dog, perhaps a graphic might give you an example of how I sometimes react when Humpday comes. While I do not attach myself to women's legs (even though it's Humpday), I can sit up, speak and play fetch. Although I don't roll-over, it has been suggested that I make an occasional effort.

                         

Nevertheless, I'll be going somewhere in AREA 51 tonight, the time and place is uncertain, but that's never stopped me before. As long as I don't look like I'm wandering the streets, the caretakers in the home will never suspect anything.

The Pictures: Strange relationships are the norm in California but not usually in the animal world. Well, my little pinecones, I've found a few that are a little strange but cute as well.

This Date In History: 1155; Frederick I, after consolidating his power in Germany and Italy, is crowned Holy Roman emperor by Pope Adrian IV in Rome. 1812; Aroused by the impressment of American sailors into the British navy and eager to expand the country's western possessions, the U.S. Congress declares war against Britain to begin the War of 1812. 1815; British, Russian and Dutch troops lead by the Duke of Wellington and Gebhard Leberecht von Blucher give French emperor and general Napoleon his final defeat at the Battle of Waterloo.

1940; British prime minister Winston Churchill, speaking to the House of Commons before the Battle of Britain, says British resistance in the battle will be remembered as "their finest hour." 1983; Sally Ride becomes the first American woman in space, aboard the space shuttle Challenger.

Birthdays: Sammy Cahn, songwriter (1913), Jerome Karle, American biophysicist and Nobel Prize (1918), winner Lou Brock, professional baseball player (1939), Paul McCartney, English rock singer and songwriter (1942).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

One dismal rainy night, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman sitting in the back seat. "Where to?" he stammered. "Union Station," answered the woman. "You got it," he said, taking another long glance in the mirror.

The woman caught him staring at her and asked, "Just what the hell are you looking at, driver?" The driver replies, "Well ma'am, I noticed that you're completely naked, and I was just wondering how you'll pay your fare." The woman spread her legs, put her feet up on the front seat, smiled at the driver and said, "Does this answer your question?" Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie asked, "Got anything smaller?"

A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to 'write' with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great... some asshole's got my pen."

That's it for today my little lemon aides. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmys's Journal, JimSulliv3, pshemmingway, Hump Day, Possums Journal, ham and cheese, Jimmys AREA 51, Possums Videos, Jimmys Pictures, My Perfect Martini, Stay Tuned !, ham and eggs, Jimmys Journal

Who would Name Their Child Tuesday?

It's Tuesday (not Weld) and Monday's just a memory. See? it didn't hurt that much, did it? We're one day closer to Hump Day and that's the carrot that keeps the horse pulling the wagon.

Seen And Heard Today: Rumor has it that one of the main causes in Ed McMahon's foreclosure and financial woes is Pamela, his wife of 16 years. TMZ reports she's oblivious to their financial problems and owes American Express 750 thousand dollars (what's the name of that movie - "They Shoot Horses Don't They?").

Trouble, the nine-year-old Maltese dog who was left an inheritance of 12 million dollars by her owner, the late billionaire Leona Helmsley, was relieved of 10 million dollars of that sum by a Manhattan judge. The judge ruled that the ten million will go to charity and the pooch will have to exist on a paltry two million dollars. Ain't that a bitch !

                       

Jimmy's Handy Dandy Flying Guide: I don't like flying. Beside the fact that it makes me nervous, there are additional factors make it even more unpleasant. Seating is probably the most annoying factor and has forced me to fly first-class despite the price.

This comes from my early days when I would be seated next to some annoying little brat whose mere existence was due to the fact that are no laws prohibiting morons from giving birth to little morons. The other example is that I'm usually seated next to someone who has no life whatsoever, but is determined to tell me about it no matter how much I protest.

I haven't flown on a plane in ten years. In the past, when I did fly, my methods were short and succinct.A simple plan when you consider it, the first step being to check in my bags, verify the flight and ticketing, then proceed to the closest bar. As the workers fuel the plane, I, in turn, fuel Jimmy with high test Johnny Walker Black.

My fueling completed and a seat in first class gives me the ability to withstand a flight of between two to three hours (with additional physical refueling as needed). An attractive flight attendant also alleviates the stress, but in this day and age, I ofttimes get little Johnny Twinkletoes serving me, which is the reason I travel with a cattle prod.

Methinks that with the new airline rules and regulations and the constantly rising prices, it will be a long time until I fly again. I'd much rather drive to my destination at my own pace and under conditions I am comfortable with. Time not being a factor for me, it's unimportant as to the time it takes to arrive at my destination and much more important to arrive comfortably. But, that's just me.

Today's Thought: By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

The Pictures: Animals with a personality or so it seems. Some of my more interesting pictures of photoshop creations of some our animal friends. Then, there's always.......

This Date In History: 1775; In the early days of the Revolutionary War, British troops attack Massachusetts militiamen in the Cattle of Bunker Hill. The British suffer high casualties, but capture the American position. 1876; In the Battle of Rosebud Creek, OglalaSioux and Cheyenne forces led by Crazy Horse repel U.S. troops, eight days before joining Sitting Bull to defeat General George Custer at Little Big Horn. 1972; Five men are arrested in a burglary of Democratic Party offices in the Watergate building in Washington, D.C. The subsequent cover-up of White House involvement will lead to President Richard Nixon's resignation in 1974. 1994; Driving a white Ford Bronco, O. J. Simpson leads police on a slow freeway chase before being arrested for the murder of his wife and Ron Goldman, a crime he was acquitted of the following year.

Birthdays: Charles XII, Swedish king and general (1682), John Wesley, founder of Methodism (1703), Igor Stravinsky, composer (1882), Newt Gingrich, former Speaker of the House of Representatives (1943).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: The

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful." Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute!" The wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful," it was now "cute." She said, "What happened to 'beautiful'?" The man replied, "The drugs are wearing off!"

A guy went out hunting. He had all the gear, the jacket, the boots and the double-barreled shotgun. As he was climbing over a fence, he dropped the gun and it went off, right on his manhood. Obviously, he had to see a doctor. When he woke up from surgery, he found that the doctor had done a marvelous job repairing it. As he got ready to go home, thedoctor gave him a business card. "This is my brothers card. I'll make an appointment for you to see him." The guy says "Is your brother a doctor?" "No," Doc replies, "he plays the flute. He'll show you where to put your fingers so you don't pee in your eye."

That's it for today my little artichoke hearts. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, JimSulliv3, pshemmingway, Possums Journal, Jimmys AREA 51, ham and cheese, My Perfect Martini, Jimmys Pictures, The Hits Just Keep On Coming, Fear of Flying, Possums Videos, Jimmys Videos, ham and eggs, Jimmys Journal

How To Get To Friday In Five Easy Steps

The weekend turned out well with Friday night's journey into AREA 51 being quite the escapade and continuing into Saturday night where I went to a Cuban barbecue and ate lechon (roasted pig), frijoles negro (black beans) and, of course, the inevitable Johnny Walker Black. Mmmm ! It's been a while since I've eaten that fare and it was scrumptious! I ended up with a cocktail at the Billiards Club to top off the evening and went home relatively early at 1:00 a.m. A fine weekend, indeed!

                                                   

Today's Entry was originally intended to reflect my views about airline flight, but with four nominations for the CAT Award and the potential for my thoughts on these nominees, I decided to move my views on flying until tomorrow. So, without further adieu, I give you......

The Cat's Ass Trophy: Several nominations for the CAT Award were received after Friday's entry and here they are:

Beth nominated Fox News for its blatantly stupid comments concerning Michelle Obama, referring to her as "Obama's baby mama."

Garnett nominated Betty Johnson Neumar of Augusta, Georgia, who hired a hit man to kill her husband. Ms. Neumar has had five husbands all of whom died violent deaths. Authorities are investigating the other four previous husbands' deaths.

Jackie nominated Charter Communications for leaving her high and dry for a week without cable.

Julie nominated Brice Brian McMillan and his wife Sandra Elizabeth McMillan who were charged with the murder of their 13-year-old- son. The boy died after being tied to a tree for three days as a punishment for something he did.

A fine lot indeed and all deserving of some form of lambasting and ridicule. A dishonorable mention for the following:

Fox News  (two words synonymous with the word "assholes"), for their poor choice of words concerning Michele Obama. Methinks, however, that if Barack Obama becomes 'da prez', future press conferences will have to be somewhat bilingual beginning first in English and subsequently translated into ebonics for the mentally challenged.

Betty Johnson Neumar for having her husband killed by a hitman. Although it's a sad affair, the expired husbands' intelligence and taste are somewhat questionable, because no man in his right mind would have married this woman.

                     

Charter Communications, although I've never heard of them, if Jackie doesn't like them, then I don't like them, either. 'Nuff said !

The CAT Award therefore is hereby awarded to to the two morons who murdered their son by tying him to a tree as punishment for some supposed transgression. Congratulations to the two for re-establishing my belief that people with a combined IQ of less than 100 should be either be sterilized or legally barred from having children.

The Pictures: I enjoy painting and I've done many oil paintings in my time. One thing that always interested me was how light strikes a subject. Today's pictures are some of my favorites showing how light and shadows affect it. Of course light strikes some subjects a little differently as you will see.

This Date In History: 1654; Queen Christina of Sweden, a convert to Roman Catholicism, abdicates her throne. 1904; The action of James Joyce's novel Ulysses takes place on this day, known as Bloomsday after Leopold and Molly Bloom, two of the novel's main characters. 1958; Former Hungarian prime minister Imre Nagy is executed for his role in the anti-Soviet uprising of 1956. 1963; Soviet cosmonaut Valentina Tereshkova, the first woman in space, is launched into a three-day orbital flight aboard Vostok 6 to study the problem of weightlessness.

Birthdays: Sir Arthur Meighen, Canadian Prime minister (1874), Stan Laurel, film comedian (1890), Barbara McClintock, American geneticist and Nobel laureate (1902), Joyce Carol Oates, writer (1935).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

George and Harriet decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. George brushed her off. Harriet objected, "George, that young woman was nice, and you were so rude."

George says, "Harriet, she's a prostitute." Harriet says, "I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?" George responds, "Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it."

In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for 'Bambi' to come to room 1217. "Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, OK?" Soon, there was a knock on the door. George opened it and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips provocatively. George asked, "How much do you charge?" Bambi says, "$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special services." Even George was taken aback. "$125! I was thinking more in the range of $25." Bambi laughed derisively. "You must really be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price."

"Well," said George, "I guess we can't do business. Goodbye." After she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom. She said, "I just can't believe it!" George said, "Let's forget it. We'll go have a drink, then eat dinner." At the bar, as they sipped theircocktails, Bambi came up behind George, pointed slyly at Harriet, and said, "See what you get for $25?"

                       

                                 Okay, show's over! Take a break !

That's it for today my little cottontails. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

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Destination ? Unknown !

Today is Friday the 13th and I have mixed emotions about tonight's foray into AREA 51. I'm not really superstitious, but then again I always leave a sleeping dog lie. I'm relatively sure that this evening's journey will fare better than Wednesday although I can't fault The Hurricane for Wednesday night. I'm sure that most places were slow that evening, so, the question is, 'Do I feel lucky?'

The answer is that I never make plans until the last minute (unless there's a lady involved) because I like to keep my options open. I've found that, in the past, making arrangements to hang out or meet someone somewhere creates a sticky situation should something better arise. Too complicated and I don't like complications. I think I'll just leave my destination in the air until about an hour before game time and then decide. Who knows? Maybe I'll return to The Hurricane and check out Friday nights.

Tim Russert, long time host of ABC's Meet The Press, collapsed and died today of an apparent hear attack, Russert, 58, collapsed while working and efforts to revive him were unsuccessful. Russert was one of the few members of the media who I admired and respected. He will be missed.

                                             

Fathers Day is this Sunday and I'd like to take this time to wish a Happy Father's Day to all the dads.

The CAT Award has no nominees as of yet. Keep in mind that nominations are open until Monday at noon so if you see or hear of some dufus that qualifies, feel free to nominate.

The Pictures: You like cereal? Maybe you do and maybe you don't. I have some new cereals that have been proposed for the outward bound. You know the type, they've just got to be different. Usually, they have a piece of metal embedded in their tongues and other various body parts. These cereals are designed for them.

This Date In History: 1911; Igor Stravinsky's ballet "Petruschka", performed by Sergey Diaghilev's Ballets Russe, debuts in Paris. 1966; In Miranda vs Arizona, the U.S. Supreme Court hold that police must inform criminal suspects of their legal rights before arresting and questioning them. 1967; President Lyndon Johnson nominates Solicitor General Thurgood Marshall to become the first black Supreme Court justice. 1971; The New York Times publishes the Pentagon Papers, an internal government report on the Vietnam War that had been leaked by Daniel Ellsburg, a former Defense Department official. 1983; U.S. space probe Pioneer 10 passes Neptune, becoming the first human-made object to leave the solar system.

Birthdays: William Butler Yeats, Irish poet, and Nobel laureate (1765), Red Grange, football halfback (1903), Cristo, artist (1935),

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: The

Bubba was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent Mary Louise to the hardware store. At the hardware store Mary Louise saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Joe Bob to finish waiting on a customer. When Joe Bob was finished, Mary Louise asked how much for the teapot? Joe Bob replied "That's silver and it costs $100!"

"My goodness, that sure is a lotta money!" Mary Louise exclaimed. She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Bubba had sent her to buy, and Jo Bob went to the backroom to find a hinge. From the backroom Joe Bob yelled "Mary Louise, you wanna screw for that hinge?' To which Mary Louise replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."

A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to life. "Hey Roadway driver, who are the two biggest homosexuals in America?" comes from the CB. The Roadway driver replies, "I don't know." The other trucker says " You and your brother." Well the Roadway driver gets annoyed but the other driver tells him "It's just a joke - tell it to the next truck you see."

Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour and finally sees another truck. He gets on the CB and says "Hey other truck, do you know who the two biggest homosexuals in the world are?" The other trucker says, "I don't know, who?" The roadway driver replies "Me and my brother."

A guy is walking around in a supermarket yelling, "Cris-co, Cris-co?" A store clerk says to him, "Sir, the Crisco is in Aisle Five." He says, "I'm not looking for cooking Crisco, I'm calling my wife." The clerk says, "Your wife is named Crisco'?" He says, "No, I only call her that in public." The clerk says, "What do you call her when you're home?" He says, "Lard ass."

I've ran this cartoon before but it goes so well with the previous joke, I couldn't resist.

                      

That's it for today my little church keys. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday

Stay Tuned !

Tags: JimSulliv3, Jimmy's Journal, pshemmingway, Possums Journal, Jimmys AREA 51, ham and cheese, Jimmys-MySpace, Tim Russert, My Perfect Martini, Jimmys Pictures, ham and eggs, The Hits Just Keep On Coming, Father's Day, Jimmys Journal

Looking For That Pot Of Gold Somewhere Over The Rainbow !

I said I was going to try a new place last night and I did. I went to The Hurricane Bar and Grill in Miami Springs. It wasn't necessarily new to me in that I had been there in the past but it's been a couple of years since then.

My friend, Frantz, was hosting the karaoke show when I arrived, so I went over and said hello. He asked me if I was going to sing a few songs, but for some unknown reason, I really wasn't in the mood and politely declined. The bar itself is very similar in shape to the "Cheers" bar, including the screen left entrance. Although at fifty percent capacity and friendly, cordial people, it was just slow overall. Added to that, the "scenery" was mostly male and that's just plain unacceptable.

So, after a couple of cocktails (poured extremely short), I decided to move on. I stopped by the Billiards Club on the way home and it wasn't much better. After a brief (well-poured) Johnny Walker Black, I decided that this night was ostensibly over and headed for home, arriving at a respectful 1:15 a.m. All in all, my curiosity as to the Hurricane Bar had been satisfied. I was told by a few that the weekends have been good the last few weeks. Maybe Friday...then again, maybe not.

Republocrat? It's a term I've used before and probably better defined as a centrist, id est, promoting moderate policies which land in the middle ground between democrats and republicans. The current do-nothing congress has done nothing but sit on their asses, each side uniting and remaining opposed to the other. The result is political gridlock.....nothing gets accomplished. They are nothing more than political whores, using their offices for political gain and money.

Case in point: There is currently an effort for the impeachment of President Dubya Bush on 35 different counts. Because of gridlock, this went directly to and will never leave, committee. Whether you are for or against the impeachment, it will never acted upon.

What this country needs is a valid third party (as in centrist or republocrat) which would guarantee that one party could not dominate another party, thus eliminating gridlock. This, in turn, would more than likely enable much needed laws to go forward, be dealt with and quickly passed or defeated.

Current AOL Presidential Straw Vote: John McCain 239,440 (55%) Barack Obama 194,781 (44%).

Today's Thought: Don't worry about temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you ~ Winston Churchill. 

The Pictures: Some of my favorite album (yeah, I said album) covers from some of my favorite musical artists. The again, some other "covers" too.

This Date In History: 1630; John Winthrop, the newly selected governor of the Massachusetts Bay Company, lands at Salem. He will lead the colony for the next two decades. 1963; Cleopatra, starring Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton and considered the most expensive movie ever made to that point, premieres in New York City. 1963; NAACP field secretary Medgar Evers is shot and killed outside his home in Jackson, Mississippi. 1979; Pedaled by cyclist Bryan Allen, the Gossamer Albatross becomes the first human-powered vehicle to fly over the English Channel.

Birthdays: Anthony Eden, Earl of Avon, British statesman (1897), George H. W. Bush, 41st president of the United States (1924), Anne Frank, German-Jewish diarist known for the diary she wrote while hiding from anti-Jewish persecution in Amsterdam, Netherlands, during World War II (1929), Chick Corea, jazz pianist (1941).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of horse manure. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"

"Horse shit," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.

"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stuart said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"

As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?"

She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit.

That's it for today my little candy kisses. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, JimSulliv3, pshemmingway, Possums Journal, Jimmys-MySpace, ham and cheese, Stay Tuned !, Jimmys AREA 51, My Perfect Martini, Jimmys Pictures, ham and eggs, Barack Obama-Lama-Ding-Dong, John McCain, Jimmys Journal,

I've Got A New Mission !

Ok, it's Hump Day and that makes me happy, but I think I'm going to try someplace new for a little change of pace. I'm not going to tell you that I won't change my mind and head over to AREA 51 at Lakes Cafe, I'm just saying I feel the need for a change. One of the guys who used to host the karaoke show at Krystel's Restaurant and lounge is playing at The Hurricane, a watering hole in Miami Springs.

Thee's not too many places that I haven't either patronized or performed, so I'm very familiar with The Hurricane. I haven't been there for a year or so, but assuming everything falls into place today, I'm going to give it a shot. We'll see.

Today's Thought: Why is it that suede gets ruined when it gets wet? When it rains at the dairy farm, do all the cows run to the barn so they don't get wet?

The Pictures: For those who missed it in an entry a few months back, I give you a rather extravagant answer to ice fishing. Ice fishing, for those who are unaware, is when fishermen go out on a frozen lake, cut holes in the ice and.... you guessed it, go fishing. The more wealthy inclined use "ice shacks" to protect them from the elements. The owner of the ice shack featured today went a few steps past "roughing it."

The Eskimos use a similar plan when hunting polar bears. They cut a large hole in the ice and then sprinkle canned peas around the opening. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, they kick him in the icehole. 

This Date In History: 1770; British captain James Cook becomes the first European to discover the Great Barrier Reef off the northeastern coast of Australia. 1950; Seventeen months after suffering life-threatening injuries in a car accident, Ben Hogan returns to win the second of four U.S. Open golf tournaments. 1987; Margaret Thatcher becomes the first prime minister elected to three terms as prime minister of the United Kingdom in the 20th century.

Birthdays: Richard Strauss, composer (1864), Jeannette Rankin, first woman in Congress (1880), Jacques-Yves Cousteau, marine explorer and filmmaker (1910), Vince Lombardi, football coach of the Green Bay Packers, who won the first two Super Bowls (1913), Joe Montana, professional football quarterback (1956).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

An elderly man was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died.

The son was so overcome with grief that he didn't remember slipping the note into his pocket. At the funeral, he reached into the pocket of his coat and immediately felt the note. He excitedly read it thinking it might be something he could recite during the service. It said: "You moron ! Get off my oxygen tube !"

 

For those of you who may not be completely aware of John Hinckley, who he is, what he did, and why, here's a little history.

 

John Hinckley is a seriously deranged young man who shot President Ronald Reagan many years back. John was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster, and extremely jealous as well, and in his twisted mind, loved Jodie Foster to the point that to make himself known, attempted to assassinate President Reagan. With that in mind...the staff at the mental facility treating John Hinckley reports intercepting the following letter from Bill Clinton:

 

To:      John Hinckley

From: Bill Clinton

 

Dear John,

 

Hillary and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are in the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our country's new spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know there is a consensus of compassion throughout the land.

 

Hillary and I want you to know that no grudge is borne against you for shooting President Reagan. We, above all, are aware of how the mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation.

 

Hillary and I are confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive young man.

 

Best wishes,

Bill and Hillary Clinton

 

P.S. Barack Obama is screwing Jodie Foster

 

                     

                     "Honey is anyone coming?" Nah, baby, go ahead" 

 

That's it for today my little piano tuners. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

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