Helloooooooo ?

Have you ever had one of those days where your mind totally abandons you? I'm not referring to the "senior moments" one has occasionally. I'm talking about the look your pet gives you when you speak to it. I'm talking about your teenage child's reaction when you speak (to he, she or it) using words with more than one syllable.

I'm speaking about the answer one gives when asked, "what were you thinking." I'm verbalizing about the reaction of your friends when you tell them you're considering taking sky diving lessons.

Well, my little Mensa members, today is one of those days. I am so mentally blank and bankrupt, I can't pay attention. Then again, some of the musings and thoughts I have perused on the Internet suggests I am in good company. But since my readers expect my best efforts daily, I am resorting to a subject near and dear to my heart (your sternum? Shut up!).. Don't get nervous, I'm referring to the other thing near and dear to my heart.....music.

This is one of my favorite videos because it combines a style of music and dance I thoroughly enjoy. Turn your speakers up and enjoy.

                                           

 

NASCAR is being sued by Mauricia Grant, a black woman, for 250 million dollars claiming "racial and sexual discrimination, sexual harassment and wrongful termination." Grant worked for the automobile racing organization as a technical inspector responsible for certifying cars in NASCAR's second-tier Nationwide series from January 2005 until she was fired in October.

As a follower of the sport, I have observed NASCAR bend over backward to promote affirmative action laws and I look forward to the outcome of this suit.

Today's Thought: The elections are beginning to disgust me. First and foremost the media, whores that they are, are milking these elections for everything their worth while using their influence to guide the public to a candidate of their choice. Then, between democrat Sammy Davis Jr and republican Archie Bunker, it's the tell them what they want to hear show. Case in point; Obama's tour today with a female nurse. Theme; women's struggles in the workplace. Give Me A Break ! 

The Pictures: Today is animal day, a series of photographs from my portfolio that I really like. It's been a while since we gone to the animal world (except for the elections). As per my wont, you know there'll be a couple of animals included that are just a little bit odd.

This Date In History: 1194; Chartres Cathedral, France, burns down with the exception of the west front. The reconstruction of the cathedral, which begins the same year, heralds the birth of the High Gothic style of architecture. 1776; The Continental Congress appoints Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, Roger Sherman and Robert R. Livingston to write a statement of independence from Britain. 1964; After a 75 day filibuster led by Southern senators, the U.S. Senate votes to close debate on the Civil Rights Bill, which passes the Senate nine days later. 1978; Affirmed becomes the last horse to take the thoroughbred Triple Crown in the 20th century when he wins the Belmont Stakes. For the third straight race, Affirmed's rival Alydar finishes a close second.

Birthdays: My pal, Krystel - Happy Birthday sweetheart (19XX), Gustave Courbet, painter (1819), Henry M. Stanley, explorer and journalist (1841), Howlin' Wolf, blues singer and songwriter (1910), Saul Bellow, novelist and Nobel Prize winner (1915), Judy Garland, actress and singer (1922), Tara Lupinski, figure skater (1982).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

The old man in the nursing home got a bottle of wine for his birthday. He talked the old lady in the next room into sharing it with him.

After they were both bombed, he started groping the old lady and pulling at her clothes. He managed to get her top off before she stopped him.

She said, "I can't do this, I have acute angina." The old guy says, "God, I hope so, you've got the ugliest tits I ever seen."

A psychiatrist is addressing a group of people who have all had experiences with the supernatural. He asks, "Who here has seen a ghost?" Everyone puts up their hands. He then asks, "And who here has touched a ghost?" Ten percent of the crowd puts up their hands.

He asks, "Who here has made love with a ghost?" The old farmer in the rear of the building raises his hand. The psychiatrist looks down from the podium looks down at the old farmer and says, "Do you mean to tell me that you have made love with a ghost?"

The old farmer says, "Ghost? I thought you said goat."

That's it for today my little foxes. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, pshemmingway, Jimmys AREA 51, Possums Journal, Stay Tuned, Ham and eggs, Mauricia Grant, whiner, NASCAR, JimSulliv3, ham and cheese, My Perfect Martini, Jimmys Journal, Lakes Cafe and Pub,

There's Gotta Be A Better Plan !

I think I need to go back to training camp! Friday's escapade into AREA 51 started out innocently enough. I stopped by my pal, Emilio's house and after a cocktail and BS session, we headed over to Lakes Cafe for the evening soiree. Lakes was slow and after a while, I suggested that we "hit it" and we left.

I was searching for an address in my cell phone. When I looked up, I noticed we weren't on the long and winding road home, nay, we were on the way to The Billiards Club and there we stayed until..., about ......, I believe it was.... (I have no idea).

Saturday, I went to a birthday party and it seemed that again, I'd be home early. That is until someone brought out a domino table and it was downhill after that. I'd tell you what time I got home, but at the time, I was busy navigating my way to the front door and time was not an issue.

Sunday was a day of rest and recovery and I did not fully recover until this morning. Like I said, it may be time to go back to training camp. Two nights in a row was a little hectic.

The Belmont Stakes, the third leg of the Triple Crown, was run on Saturday and, alas, Big Brown just didn't have it. When asked to run entering the third turn, the colt labored and coming out of the  fourth turn, the jockey began easing up the gallant horse, knowing full well that his race was over. At this time, there are no reports of any injuries to the horse. 

The NASCAR Pocono 500 race on Sunday was won by Kasey Kahne, followed by Brian Vickers, Denny Hamlin, Dale Earnhardt Jr., and Jeff Burton. Kahne was the class of the field in Sunday's race. Point leaded Kyle Busch crashed early in the race and finished 43rd.

Jim McKay, long time announcer and sportscaster for ABC Wide World of Sports passed away Saturday at the age of 86. McKay is well remembered for his coverage of the 1972 Olympics when Palestinian terrorists took the Israeli weight lifting team hostage, resulting in the murder of the entire team.

The Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT Award) had many nominations last week, all of whom were more than merited.

Jude nominated Catholic priest Michael Pfleger who, while speaking in front of the Trinity United Church of Christ, made disparaging and racists remarks about Hillary Clinton. 

Sherry nominated the credit card companies, specifically Citibank, for their attempts to collect late fee payments from a woman who had been dead for two months.

Julie nominated the cold hearted, low life bastards who ran over a 76 year old man along with the numerous passersby who made little or no efforts to stop and care for the man.

It would be too easy to give the CAT Award to Michael Pfleger and as I have written before, this man could easily win the award every week. The judges (my cat Shithead and I) will, however, award him a dishonorable mention, keeping with the age old adage, "once an asshole, always an asshole."

In the case of the credit cards of Citibank and similar companies, who brazenly take every possible advantage of their cardholders, a dishonorable mention as well. It makes me wonder sometimes why consumers do not organize, pick any of these abusers at random, then cut and return the plastic to the bank with a note stating "when you screwed us, you screwed yourselves." Methinks doing this only once, these companies would sit up and pay attention.

Consequently, the judges have decided to award the Cat's Ass Trophy to the scumbags who hit the elderly man and left him paralyzed on the street together, along with the passersby who made no effort to come to the aid of the man. Congratulations people, way to set a great example of the Good Samaritan law.

The Pictures: A new car that runs on air. It's been available for a year. Made in India, the cost is about $12,000. Maybe we ought to rewrite the immigration law to read that each new immigrant from India bring one of these cars with them.

This Date In History: 1815; The Congress of Vienna closes, having restored the balance of power in Europe following the end of the Napoleonic Wars. 1870; British novelist Charles Dickens dies of a stroke at age 58. 1954; During televised Senate hearings called by Senator Joseph McCarthy to investigate foreign espionage in the U.S. Army, council Joseph Welch asks McCarthy, "Have you no sense of decency, sir?" 1973; Secretariat becomes the first horse to take the Triple Crown in 25 years when he runs the Belmont Stakes in a record time, winning by an outstanding 31 lengths. 1978; The Boston Celtics select Larry Bird with the sixth pick of the NBA draft.

Birthdays: Peter the Great, Russian tsar (1672), George Stephenson, inventor of the locomotive (1781), Elizabeth Garrett Anderson, first British woman physician (1836), Cole Porter, songwriter (1891), Robert McNamara, U.S. secretary of defense (1916).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Thanks to my pal, Garnett, for the following:

The seven dwarfs always left to go to work in the mine early each morning. As always, Snow White stayed home attending to her housework. As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their lunch and take it to the mine.

One day, as she arrived at the mine with their lunch, she saw that there had been a terrible cave-in. Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope, that the dwarfs had somehow survived.

She shouted out, "Hello? Hello? Can anyone hear me?" There was no reply. Losing hope, she shouted out again, "Hello? Can anyone hear me?"Just as she was about to give up hope, a faint voice called out, "Vote for Barack Obama! Vote for Barack Obama!"

Relieved, Snow White fell to her knees and began to pray, "Oh, thank you Lord, at least Dopey is still alive!"

That's it for today my little lima beans. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

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D-Day - Allied Forces Invade Normandy !

On this date in June, 1944, more than 120,000 Allied troops landed on the beaches in Normandy, France in an invasion code-named D-Day. The all-out assault of the heavily manned and fortified German-held beaches was the beginning of the end of Nazi Germany. More than 10,000 troops were killed, wounded or captured in the bloody assault. We are free to do as we want in America due to the valor of the brave men and women who sacrificed themselves this day in 1944 and to the men and women, past and present, of our armed forces.

It's Friday at last and I have another chance to saunter over to AREA 51 and see my pals. It's Karaoke night at Lakes Cafe and Pub, and I'm pretty sure that will be one of my stops. Presuming that I practice my sauntering and don't sit down in my recliner to watch the news before leaving, chances are that tonight will be an evening of fun.

The Belmont Stakes is running tomorrow and my money is on Big Brown, the colt that won the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness Stakes. I'm hopeful that the crack in his left front hoof is or has healed properly and the gallant horse can go all the way and win the Triple Crown.

The CAT Award has two nominations as of today, with nominations being open to everyone until Monday at noon..

Jude nominated Catholic priest Michael Plfeger, whose racist speech about Hillary Clinton given before the Trinity United Church of Christ, raised political and moral eyebrows everywhere. "Father" Plfeger has since been given two weeks off by the Catholic church to "reflect" upon his words.

Sherry has nominated the credit card companies, specifically Citibank for their priceless handling of late fees incurred by a woman who had passed away two months earlier.

You can visit either journal by clicking their journals located on my sidebar. Jude's journal is called "My Way" and Sherry's is called "Sherry's Weight Loss Journey." Stop by and say hello if you get the chance. I sure you will enjoy your stay.

The Pictures: Today's pictures of the D-Day landing are dedicated to the men and women of the Allied forces who sacrificed themselves for freedom. God bless our men and women of the armed forces, past and present, and God bless America.

This Date In History: 1703; Work begins on the city of Saint Petersburg, Russia, meant by Tsar Peter I (the Great) to be a "window on Europe." 1925; Under Walter P. Chrysler, a former General Motors executive, the Maxwell Motor Corporation becomes the Chrysler Corporation. 1944; In the largest seaborne invasion in history, known as D-Day, over 120,000 Allied troops land on the beaches of Normandy in German-occupied northern France. 1978; California voters overwhelmingly approve Proposition 13, which cuts local property taxes by more than two-thirds, sending many local governments into financial crisis.

Birthdays: Diego Velazquez, painter (1599), Thomas Mann, novelist and short-story writer (1875), Sukarno, Indonesia's first president (1901), Bill Dickey, professional baseball catcher (1907), Bjorn Borg, Swedish professional tennis player, winner of 11 grand slam tournaments including 5 Wimbledon titles (1956).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A sailor and a pirate are drinking at a waterfront bar and they proceed to swap sea stories. The sailor notes the pirate's peg leg, eye patch and hook.

The sailor says, "Tell me, how did you come to lose that leg?" The pirate says, "A black squall swept me overboard. While I was in the water, a shark snapped my leg off and I've had this peg leg ever since."

The sailor says, "Wow! And how'd you get the hook?" The pirate replies, "Some scurvy dog with a cutlass hacked my hand off and I've had this hook ever since."

"Amazing!" says the sailor. "And what about the eye patch?" The pirate replies, "A seagull shit in my eye."

"A seagull?" asks the sailor, a bit incredulous. The pirate say, "Yeah, it was my first day using the new hook."

From Verizon Wireless, I give you the next installment of that familiar phrase that we all know and love.

                     

That's it for today my little honeydews. Have a safe and great weekend and more on Monday. 

Stay Tuned !

Tags: Jimmy's Journal, JimSulliv3, pshemmingway, Possums Journal, My Perfect Martini, Jimmys AREA51, Possums Videos, Stray Tuned, Jimmys Pictures, ham and cheese, Jimmys-MySpace, The Hits Just Keep On Coming, D-Day, Normandy, ham and cheese, Jimmys Journal, yabba dabba doo

Mission Aborted !

There I was....ready, willing and able! My intentions were honorable! The conditions were perfect! Then, things dimmed and everything went black. When I regained consciousness, it was too late! Where did I go wrong? I tried to replay the events in my mind searching for the answers. Then, as my mind cleared, it came to me. I made one minor error in executing my plan.

I sat down to watch the last fifteen minutes of the news before making my Wednesday trek to AREA 51. To get a little more comfortable, I slipped off my shoes and eased my recliner into the cruise control position. The next thing I knew, David Letterman was doing his nightly monologue.

Yes, my little scotch glasses, I went into a brief coma and completely missed Happy Hour in AREA 51. Even my cat, Shithead, couldn't believe I fell asleep and told me as much. Well, so much for Hump Day.

Ed McMahon, the long time sidekick of Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show, is currently trying to avoid foreclosure on his 4.8 million dollar Beverly Hills home. Unable to work since breaking his neck 18 months ago, the 85 year old pitchman for American Family Publishes sweepstakes is behind in his mortgage payments to the tune of $644,000. Although the current economy is causing many people to face foreclosure, this is one man who has entertained me for years and I am hopeful that he can resolve is financial issues.

Today's Thought: I've been using aluminum foil and plastic wraps for more years than I care to remember. Did you know that on the ends of both boxes, there's a tab that you can push in to stop the stupid roll from coming out when you pull on it? Don't believe me? Getup and go check...it's okay, I'll wait.

See? That tab has been there since the creation of the product. You's think there'd be a large sign on the package for the hard of understanding, but noooooo, it's their little secret. This has been a public service of Jimmy's Journal. We now return you to you regularly scheduled journal.

The Pictures: Chinese pandas or street artist illusions. The choice was my predicament, which one? So, I went with pandas painting street illusions (kidding). There's a little of both (plus "the usual suspects"). The street painting illusions are remarkable and the pandas are the results of artificial insemination to insure survival of the species.

This Date In History: 1884; In response to Republican hopes that he will be the party's nominee for president, General William T. Sherman send a telegram saying, "If nominated, I will nor accept; if elected I will not serve." 1900: Novelist, poet and journalist Stephen Crane dies of tuberculosis at the age of 28, five years after his novel, "The Red Badge of Courage" gained international acclaim. 1933; President Franklin D. Roosevelt signs legislation taking the United States off the gold standard, which required that all paper money and coin be redeemable in gold.

1947; U.S. secretary of state General George C. Marshall calls for a European Recovery Program (The Marshall Plan), funded by the United States, to help European countries recover from World War II. 1967; On the first morning of the Six Day War, Israel attacks Egypt. By the day's end Israeli forces will have virtually destroyed the air forces of both Egypt and Jordan. 1968; On the night he wins the California Democratic primary, Robert F. Kennedy is shot by Sirhan Sirhan in Los Angeles. He dies of his wounds the next day.

Birthdays: Adam Smith, philosopher and economist (1723), Francisco "Pancho" Villa, Mexican revolutionary leader (1877), John Maynard Keynes, British economist and one of the most influential economists of the 20th century (1883), Federico Garcia Lorca, poet and playwright (1898).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road.

As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road. The truck driver said, "I'll give you a lift."

The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud." Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors.When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer."

The priest replied, "That's OK, I got him with the door."

That's it for today my little Pez dispensers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Hit The Road, Jack....er, Jim!

Hump Day, the oasis in the middle of the dreary week where everyone seems to find a way to play hookey from the social confines of maturity (what?). Okay, that's the best I could come up with. I mean how many ways can you say Happy Hump Day?

So, I'll be heading to AREA 51 this evening to see my friends and discuss world problems, come up with ways to solve world hunger and generally shoot the breeze.

As I've ofttimes told you, I'm not real good with remembering names, but faces are always familiar. I also told you how I am becoming my father right before my very eyes. My tales of trips to the kitchen usually resulting in searching for the reason I went there in the first place have also been part of my writings.

With that in mind, I've come up with a video for your dancing and dining pleasures, that may further illustrate how things sometimes go for me.

                                              

From the department of poetic justice comes the story of a 21-year-old man in Utrecht, Netherlands, who along with two others, ran down a street with their pants pulled down in the back exposing their rear ends. He then stopped at a restaurant and pressed his rear end against the glass window, and it broke! The end result (you'll pardon the expression) was "severe lacerations to his derriere." It just don't get much better than that!

Barack Obama became the presumptive democratic nominee in last night's elections, but Hillary Clinton, while congratulating Obama for his campaign, has not yet conceded the race. I think that the democrats, in their rock star, second coming of Christ, mentality about Obama will be in for some unpleasant surprises in the future.

Ostensibly, they are basing their future on a smoke and mirrors campaign from an upstart, wet behind the ears, first term senator to lead this country. CNN, based in Atlanta (also known as Detroit south) is beside itself in glee. Supposedly a non-biased cable news program, their fondness for Obama was apparent from day one. There's an old adage; "be careful what you wish for, it may come to pass."

Clinton's camp seems to be campaigning now for a spot on the ticket as vice president. I think this would enhance the democratic chances for the White House, but only time will tell. One must admit, the democratic race for the presidential nomination was filled with excitement this year. Maybe that's what this country needs. We'll see!

The Pictures: Flowers, gathered from many places and a few that I "borrowed" from other journals (namely, Beth, Julie and Nancy). They're always strikingly beautiful (as well as the flowers) and I'm sure you'll like them.

This Date In History: 1896; In Detroit, Henry Ford test-drives his first automobile, the Quadracycle, a two-cylinder engine mounted of four bicycle wheels that has a top speed of 25 miles per hour. 1942; Near the Midway Islands in the Pacific Ocean, American and Japanese air and sea forces begin the three day Battle of Midway. 1989; Months of student-led pro-democracy in Beijing's Tiananmen Square end after the Chinese army crushes the protests. 2003; Television star Martha Stewart is indicted under charges including obstruction of justice and securities fraud, stemming from sales of stock in December 2001.

Birthdays: George III, king of Great Britain and Ireland who presided over the loss of Britain's American colonies. (1738), Natalia Goncharova, painter and stage designer (1833), Gerry Mulligan, jazz saxophonist (1927).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

The family took their elderly mother to a nursing home so that she could receive the best care possible. The following morning after her admission, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast and set her in a chair overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seemed fine, but after a while the nurses saw her start to tilt sideways in her chair. The nurses immediately rushed to catch her and straightened her up.

Again, she seemed to be okay, but after a short time she slowly started to lean to her side once again. The nurses rushed over and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning.

Later in the afternoon, the family arrived to see how she was adjusting to her new home. The son said, "So, Mom, how is it here? Are they treating you well?"

His mother replied, "It's pretty nice, except they won't let me fart."

That's it for today my little pogo sticks. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

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Jimmys Sings ?

It's Tuesday and I'm already getting the itch to head to AREA 51 for some socializin'. I had a lot of spare time on my hands today which will be confirmed by today's entry.

Many of you have asked me to post some of my songs in my journal. Others have begged me not to post my songs. In either event, I went to My Space karaoke today and recorded a song by Elvis Presley entitled "An American Trilogy." The results are not exactly what I wanted, but the limited recording sound and effects are not studio quality and I just left "close enough" alone.

You can hear the song by going to my sidebar under Favorite Sites and clicking the title. I'll be posting future recordings there for those of you who would like to hear them. I've had several other requests but the microphone didn't fit.

Vice President Dick Cheney, speaking to the National Press Club in Washington, made a remark which was quickly criticized by representatives of West Virginia.

Talking about his family roots and how he's distantly related to Barack Obama, the vice president noted that he has Cheneys on both sides of his family and, "we don't even live in West Virginia." Cheney subsequently apologized for his ill-advised quip.

While I feel the joke was harmless in nature and any state could have been inserted in place of West Virginia, I did some additional investigationabout West Virginian reactions on the Internet and found these stories:

Homer Cornpone and his wife were interviewed by the media as to his thoughts on the matter and he remarked, "These Washington homosexual communists don't know nothin' about our state and ought to keep their big mouths shut, ain't that right, Sis?"

After the interview, Homer was pulled over by a West Virginia state trooper for a traffic violation. The officer came to Homer and said, "Do you have any I.D. ?" Homer said, "About what?" Homer's wife didn't even remove the Marlboro from her mouth as she told the state trooper to kiss her ass.

The Pictures: The trials, tribulations and adventures of America's space shuttles.

This Date In History: 1937; American divorcee Wallis Simpson weds the Duke of Windsor, formerly Edward VIII, who abdicated the British throne to marry her. 1948; The Hale telescope, the largest telescope in the world at the time, is dedicated at Mount Palomar Observatory in California. 1959; Singapore gains its independence from Britain, becoming self-governing in the Commonwealth of Nations. 1968; Valerie Solanas, an actor and author of SCUM Manifesto. a pamphlet denouncing men, shoots and wounds artist Andy Warhol at his New York studio.

Birthdays: Jefferson Davis, Confederate president (1808), Charles Drew, physician (1904), Josephine Baker, American born French singer and dancer (1906), Allen Ginsberg, poet (1926), Larry McMurtry, novelist (1936).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Continuing with Monday's ramblings from comedian George Carlin, here's some more New Rules Part Deux:

Rule Six: I am not the cashier! By the time I finish sliding my card, entering my pin number, pressing enter, verifying the amount, deciding that I don't want cash back and pressing enter again, the little jerk who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

Rule Seven: Stop screwing with old people! Target is introducing a new redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label and the top is now the bottom. By the time grandpa figures out how to open thedamn thing to take his medicine, he'll be in the morgue. Congratulations Target ! You've just solved the Social Security problem.

Rule Eight: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole! The guy who orders a 'decaf grande half-soy, half low-fat, iced vanilla, double-shot cappuccino with one sweet and low,' usually qualifies as asshole number one.

Rule Nine: If you ever want to be a credible adult and earn more than the minimum wage, don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh on you body! If you do so, plan your future around the phrase, 'Do you want fries with that?'

Rule Ten: When I ask you how old your toddler is, I don't need to know the number of months. 'He's two,' will do just fine. He's not fine wine or aged cheese and I really didn't care in the first place.

Rex was feeling depressed over his having to wear the dog collar after the injury to his front paw.

                        

He was further insulted when he was informed that being tied to the front porch facing south-southwest, his dog collar was being used to pick up 55 channels for his owner's television set.

That's it for today my little tater tots. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Tags: JimSulliv3, Jimmy's Journal, pshemmingway, Jimmys AREA 51, Possums Journal, ham and cheese, Stay Tuned !, My Perfect Martini, Jimmys-MySpace, ham and eggs, Jimmys Pictures, Jimmys Journal, The Hits Just Keep On Coming

I Got A Case Of The Monday Blues

Friday's journey into AREA 51 took me to Lakes Cafe and Pub for the Karaoke show. I stopped by to pick up my pal Emilio, had a cocktail and we arrived at Lakes Cafe around 11:00. Owners Richard and Danny had a full house and the party was in full swing.

My pal Gipsy was there and in great voice. She performed several songs along with many other very talented singers that were in attendance. We partied until late and although I don't know the exact time that I arrived home, suffice to say that the newspaper was on my doorstep.

The Democratic National Committee met this weekend to resolve the outstanding question of what to do about the Florida and Michigan delegates. A series of rhetorical case presentations from all camps took up most of Saturday. At the end of the day, the committee decided to seat all the delegates and give them one half vote each. The Florida split was Clinton, 105 delegates and Obama, 67 delegates. The Michigan split was Clinton 69 delegates and Obama 59 delegates. The end result of their decision will solve nothing and this dilemma will wind up in front of the credentials committee late this summer, leaving the democratic party to flounder in the interim.

I feel that the democratic rules for nominating their candidates are inane and chaotic at best and need to be revised. That said, if the rules state that the state primaries should be in a specific order and said states(s) are arrogant and stupid enough to violate the rules, then said state(s) should not be allowed to seat representatives.

By seating the Florida and Michigan delegates, the message received is that you can run a theoretical traffic light, receive a ticket for same and the case will be thrown out of court. If the democrats win the white house, it will be by default, due to the fact that eight years ago, the republicans put an idiot in the white house.

Barack Obama finally resigned from the racist Trinity United Church of Christ this weekend, a move he should have made the moment the bombastic Jeremiah Wright ran off at the mouth. In the latest incident, Michael Pfleger, a white Catholic priest, made racist remarks about Hillary Clinton, receiving a standing ovation from the mostly black congregation. My thinking is that Obama would resign from his own family if he thought it would help him become president  

The Cat's Ass Trophy had one nomination which was made by me. The nominee and winner of the CAT Award is Michelle Malkin, a conservative Fox news pundit for her rude and publicity-seeking remarks about Food Networks star, Rachel Ray. While I have no particular feelings for, or issues with, Rachel Ray, I do take issue when an asshole like Michele Malkin and her ghost-writing, tree-planting husband, Jesse Malkin, make disparaging remarks about someone.

The Pictures: It's raining cats and dogs.

This Date In History: 1883; President Grover Cleveland marries Frances Folsom, a family friend 27years his junior, becoming the first president married in the White House. 1946; Italians vote to replace the country's monarchy with a republic, leading to the abdication of King Humbert II. 1953: Queen Elizabeth II is coronated in Westminster Abbey, after succeeding her father, George VI, to the throne the previous year. 1957; Soviet leader Nikita Khruschev, interviewed on CBS's "Face The Nation", declares, "Your grandchildren will live under socialism.

Birthdays: Marquis de Sade, writer and degenerate (1740), Thomas Hardy, English novelist and poet (1840), Edward Elger, English composer (1857), Hedda Hopper, gossip columnist (1890), Johnny Weismuller, swimmer and actor (1904).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: From my pal, Garnett, I give the first installment of comedian George Carlin's New Rules:

Rule One: Stop sending me those pop-ups from classmates.com! There's a reason I don't talk to people after 25 years and it's normally because I don't particularly like you. Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days - he's mowing my yard.

Rule Two: Don't eat anything served from a drive-through window unless you're a seagull. People are shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chuli. Hey, it costs less than a dollar. What did you expect to find - trout?

Rule Three: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Ok, we're done!

Rule Four: There's no such thing as flavored water. That whole aisle of crap at the supermarket? Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's flavored water!

Rule Five: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't mean you're spiritual. You thought you were unique when you decided to put it above the crack of your ass. By the way, it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last thing spiritual you did was to pray that you weren't pregnant. Your not spiritual, your stoned.

That's it for today my little cupcakes. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

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