Jimmy's Journal - The Original

Oh Hell Yeah !

2012-01-27T19:27:00.000-05:00

Happy Fourth Of July !

2011-07-02T15:01:00.001-04:00

Wannabee Bulley Gets Body Slammed By His Victim

2011-03-16T22:18:00.003-04:00

There are times when one must stand up and fight back, especially when the opponent is a wannabee little bully that needs his punk ass kicked. The larger kid finally was teased and bullyed too much and I applaud his actions.

EMBED-Chubby Kid Bodyslams Bully - Watch more free videos
This really made my day!

Stay Tuned !

Michael Waltrip Wins Daytona 250 Truck Race On Earnhardt Anniversary

2011-02-19T11:29:00.008-05:00

Michael Waltrip capped the 10-year anniversary of Dale Earnhardt’s death by winning the season-opening Trucks Series race at Daytona International Speedway. Waltrip, driving for Earnhardt, won the 2001 Daytona 500, but his victory lane celebration was darkened when he learned that his friend Dale Earnhardt had been killed in a crash on the last lap of the race.

If poetic justice rings a bell, Waltrip won the 2001 Daytona race on February 18th and repeated with a Daytona Truck victory ten years to the day. Waltrip passed Elliott Sadler in the final hundred yards of the race. Waltrip choked up talking about what the win meant, especially since it came a decade to the day after his first victory at Daytona.

Waltrip was driving for Dale Earnhardt Inc. back then, and his frivolity turned to fright on Dec. 18, 2001, when word spread that his close friend and car owner was badly injured on the final lap of the Daytona 500. Earnhardt was pronounced dead a short time later, and Waltrip never got to celebrate what should have been the biggest victory of his life.

Waltrip said. "Today, obviously with it being the 10th anniversary of that terrible day, I wanted to be able to tell people that I was here in honor of Dale." Friday night’s win also made Waltrip the 22nd driver to win in each of NASCAR’s top three series.

Daytona International Speedway now turns to the Nationwide series race today at 1:00 pm and the Daytona 500 on Sunday at 1:00 pm. Michael Waltrip is racing in both of these events. It should be some great racing!

That's it for now. More soon.

Stay Tuned !

Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire (The Christmas Song)

2010-12-04T23:40:00.004-05:00

This is my favorite song for the holidays and my newest video.

More soon!

Stay Tuned !

Happy Halloween !

2010-10-31T11:27:00.006-04:00

Happy Halloween to all of my readers and Facebook friends. Be Safe !

That's it for now. More soon!

Stay Tuned !

Jump Jive And Wail

2010-10-23T09:00:00.001-04:00

Girl From Ipanema

2010-09-19T11:07:00.002-04:00

In Memory Of The Victims Of 9/11

2010-09-12T10:04:00.000-04:00

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Wins An Exciting And Emotional Daytona Nationwide 250 !

2010-07-03T12:28:00.019-04:00

Dale Earnhardt Jr. crossed the finish line first Friday night winning the Daytona 250 as thousands in the grandstands and millions tuned into the television cheered wildly. Earnhardt's number 3 Wrangler Chevrolet, the car's blue-and-yellow retro paint scheme, is a tribute to his late father, Dale Earnhardt Sr., who drove the No. 3 to six of his seven championships before he was killed in an accident on the last lap of the 2001 Daytona 500.

As Earnhardt made his victory lap, absorbing and cherishing the crowd's emotion, his crew chief and first cousin, Tony Eury Jr., cried openly on pit road. Richard Childress, his dad's former team owner and best friend, met Dale Jr. in victory circle for a congratulatory hug. Earnhardt Jr. has won eight races on Daytona's high banks, but this win was very special.

As "Little E" drove toward victory circle, I couldn't help but remember the day that his father was killed at Daytona. Deep down, I felt that Dale Sr. was smiling down on his son. I'm proud of Dale Jr., not only for his spectacular win, but for taking on the added burden of driving "his father's car" and the uncertainty of whether he could win this event.

The only problem that I have with Dale Jr., is the nerve wracking last laps that left me mentally exhausted and looking for my bottle of Johnnie Walker Black. Congratulations to Dale Earnhardt Jr for winning such an exciting event and congratulations to me for not having a stroke.

Here's the final laps of the Daytona 250. Remember to mute my music playlist on the left sidebar.

Laugh Lines: A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He says, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancé is still a virgin - in every way." The doctor told him, "I'll have to put your willie in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together. An impressive work of art.

The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on their honeymoon. That night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breasts. She says, "You're the first! No one has ever touched these." He immediately drops his pants and replies, "Look at this, still in the crate!"

Two old men sat talking over the weather and the latest in medical science, and such, when one brings up the latest male medical miracle, Viagra. The other wasn't familiar with Viagra and asked the first man what it was for. The first man said, "It's the greatest thing I've ever known. The Fountain of Youth! Makes you feel like a man of 30." The second then asked, "Can you get it over the counter?" The first man replied, "You probably could, if you took 2 pills."

The following pictures are from the press release when Dale Jr., Richard Childress and Teresa Earnhardt announced they would race the retro paint-schemed number 3 at the July 4th Daytona Nationwide race.

How's that for irony? I couldn't happen to a nicer family!

That's it for now. Have a great fourth of July weekend. More soon.

Stay Tuned !

Franchitti Wins Indianapolis 500 - Video: Mike Conway Crash - Car Cut In Half On The Final Lap.

2010-05-30T17:58:00.007-04:00

Happy Memorial Day to everyone. Today is a day to remember the men and women of our armed forces, both past and present.

Dario Franchitti drove 199 nearly flawless laps, then survived the last one with a huge break from a spectacular crash to climb back on top of the open-wheel world Sunday with his second win at the Indianapolis 500.

Two years removed from his failed try in NASCAR, Franchitti held on with a scant tenth of a gallon of fuel left in the tank -- a victory made possible by a crash that sent Mike Conway airborne on the final lap. "Still running," Franchitti told his crew over the radio as he crossed the finish line, while wreckers were moving out to scoop up debris from Conway's accident with Ryan Hunter-Reay.

Franchitti's second Brickyard victory in four years helped his boss, Chip Ganassi, become the first owner to win Indy and NASCAR's Daytona 500 in the same year. It also validated the Scottish driver's return to the IndyCar circuit two years after celebrating his 2007 Indy victory by making an unsuccessful move to NASCAR. England's Dan Wheldon, the 2005 winner who closed furiously as Franchitti slowed to save fuel before Conway's crash, was second, and fellow Brit Alex Lloyd was third.

Pole-sitter Helio Castroneves saw his quest for his record-tying fourth Indy victory come to an end with an uncharacteristic mistake -- stalling out leaving the pits on the 146th lap. It left him in need of a yellow-flag miracle at the end that never came. He had to pit again on the 193rd lap and finished ninth.

That was four spots behind Danica Patrick, who picked and poked her way from 23rd to finish fifth despite a balky car that she complained about in qualifying. Patrick never found her comfort zone over 500 miles in 88-degree weather - at one point saying she wished she could make up as much time on the track as in the pits - but she was patient and disciplined and now has three top-five finishes in six years.

Laugh Lines: An Indian boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face and says "Say Mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm"? His mother said, "Because he was conceived during a mighty storm." Then he asked, "Why is my sister named Cornflower"? She replied, "Well your father and I were in a cornfield when we made her", she replied.

He then asked "And why is my other sister called Moonchild"? His mom said, "We were watching the moon-landing when she was conceived." The mother paused and said to her son, "Tell me, Two Dogs Humping," why are you so curious?"

In Louisiana, Boudreaux was out in the field talking with his friend, Thibodeaux. Thibodeaux said, "Boudreaux, you see dat ole barn out dere? Well man, its completely infestered wit rats. I tried everything I know an can't get rid of dem." Boudreaux said, "Thibodeaux, I know xactly how to get rid of dem rats. You gotta get you one of dem bull constriptors."

Thibodeaux said, "Whats a bull constriptor?" Boudreaux explains, "Man, dats one of dem big ole snakes and he loves to eat rats and swallers dem whole, all at once."

The next day, Thibodeaux went down to Kliberts reptile farm and bought him the biggest Boa Constrictors they had. He brought the snake to the barn and let him loose. Thibodeaux watched for a long time and the big snake just curled up and slept all day. He didn't even move and the rats just ran everywhere.

So Thibodeaux got frustrated and he called up Boudreaux on the phone, "Boudreaux, man dats some bad advice bout dat snake. Dem rats is still runnin' al around and dat snake jus lays dere sleepin' all day long." Boudreaux says, "Man, Thibodeaux, I know just what to do. Give dat snake some Viagra." Thibodeaux said, "What? Viagra? What's dat gonna do?" Boudreaux said,"I was just listening to da radio and de man say dat Viagra is da best ting to use for a reptile dysfunction."

That's it for now. More soon.

Stay Tuned !

I'm Moving My Family To Mexico

2010-05-18T17:00:00.003-04:00

Dear President Obama:

I'm planning to move my family and extended family to Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me. We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.

We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my way over

Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. Please print all Mexican Government forms in English.
4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual teachers).
5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my housetop, put U.S. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.
14. I want to receive free food stamps.
15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.
16. I'll need income tax credits so that, although I don't pay Mexican taxes, I'll receive money from the government.
17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Government pays $4,500 to help me buy a new car.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.

I know this is an easy request because the U.S. already does all these things for all his people who walk over to the U.S. from Mexico. I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

Thank you so much for your kind help.

Sincerely,
Jimmy

Laugh Lines: A lady walked into a jewelry store and bent over to look more closely at a piece of jewelry, inadvertantly breaking wind. Embarrassed, she looked around to see if anyone had heard the "accident" and prayed that no salesman would come to attend her until the "fog had lifted".

Her worst fears were realized when a salesman came to assist her. Hoping that the salesman was not near at the time, she nervously asked, "Sir, exactly how much is this lovely bracelet?"

The salesman responded, "Lady, if you farted when you looked at it, you're gonna shit when you hear the price."

Two statues were in a park, one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other in the park for over 100 years. One day, an angel came down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brought them both to life.

The angel said, "For being so patient over 100 years of blazing summers and brutal winters, I will give you one hour of life to do what you wished the most." He looked at her and she looked at him and together, they ran off behind the shrubbery. The angel waited patiently as the bushes rustled and giggling ensued, and after thirty minutes they both emerged from behind the shrubbery.

The angel said, "Um, you still have thirty minutes left. Would you like to do it again?" He looked at her and said, "Shall we?" She eagerly replied, Oh yes ! Lets ! This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you shit on his head."

That's if for now. More soon.

Stay Tuned !

Lazing On A Sunday Afternoon - Watching The Talladega Nascar Race !

2010-04-24T10:42:00.007-04:00

If you like parlor games, you'll really enjoy the newest game called Bullshit Bingo. It's easy to play.

The Rules for Bullshit Bingo:

1. Before Obama's next televised speech, print-out the above bingo card.
2. While he reads his teleprompter out-loud, check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words or phrases.
3. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"

There's Nascar racing at Talladega Super Speedway today and if you like excitement, tune in to NBC because the race will be starting at 1:00 pm (EST) and the Nationwide race will run after the Sprint Cup race. This is a race that you really don't want to miss!

Laugh Lines: One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to his daughter, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?"

The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. The rancher's daughter takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows and when his daughter sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one right here."

The man, assuming he is dealing with a naive young farm girl, asks, "Tell me Miss, how do you know that this is the right cow to be bred?'' The girl says, "That's simple, by the nail that's over its stall." Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "And what, pray tell, is the nail for?" The girl smiles, turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, "I guess it's to hang your pants on."

That's it for now. More soon.

Stay Tuned !

Tiger Woods Nike Commercials Parodies

2010-04-09T15:26:00.011-04:00

If you think the new Tiger Woods Nike Commercial is controversial, take a look at these parodies from YouTube (Mute the playlist music on my sidebar).

Calvin Klein could save a few bucks with this ready to roll new fragrance campaign.

Morgan Freeman and John F. Kennedy have some choice words and advice for Tiger. (via Morning Moose, from Lazer 103.3 radio station.)

Laugh Lines: An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch sit with the workers and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating.

She walked up to the group and with a big smile said "Do you men know Jesus Christ?" They shook their heads and looked at each other. One of the workers looked up into the steelwork and yelled "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?" One of the steelworkers asked why. The worker yelled "his wife is here with his lunch".

That's it for now. More Soon.

Stay Tuned !

Happy Easter

2010-04-04T01:17:00.000-04:00

Happy Easter to all my family, friends and readers. May the sunshine always warm your lives.

Stay Tuned!

Bush Wins Nascar Atlanta 500 - Edwards Wrecks Keselowski (Video)

2010-03-08T19:39:00.012-05:00

The Atlanta 500 race on Sunday saw Kurt Bush running out front with three laps to go when things really got interesting. First, a frightening crash that seemed intentional between two feuding drivers. Then, another spinning, slamming melee before the white flag came out.

“We’ve got to win this race three times, maybe even four times,” a frustrated Busch said on his radio. Not to worry. Busch survived a couple of overtime restarts and 16 extra laps to win again Sunday at Atlanta Motor Speedway, a race marred by accusations that Carl Edwards purposely wrecked Brad Keselowski's car, sending it hurtling toward the main stands upside down.

Busch won the spring race at the 1.54-mile trioval for the second year in a row, beating Matt Kenseth to the line by nearly half a second in the Kobalt Tools 500. Juan Pablo Montoya was third, followed by Kasey Kahne and Paul Menard.

The race went 341 laps instead of its scheduled 325 because of two big crashes near the end. The first one drew the most attention.
Edwards, running 156 laps behind, clipped Keselowski and caused his car to spin, then lift into the air at around 190 mph. It smashed into the barrier in front of the stands roof-first, then flipped back onto the track right side up. Keselowski was OK, but NASCAR ordered Edwards to park his car and summoned him to its trailer. NASCAR put off a decision on whether to discipline Edwards until at least today.

On the first attempt at a green-white-checkered finish, another crash took out seven cars coming through turns three and four. Finally, they got in two clean laps, and it was Busch all the way for his third career win in Atlanta.

The obviously intentional move by Edwards to spin Keselowski was a dangerous move and could have injured drivers and spectators alike. But Keselowski has not made too many friends in his Nascar Sprint Cup career making many stupid and careless moves and crashing out several drivers in both Sprint Cup and Nationwide series events, namely Carl Edwards and Denny Hamlin.

Although I don't condone Edward's move in the race, I must admit I thought it was a fitting lesson to be learned by the upstart Keselowski. He needs to show a little more respect to other drivers. Payback is hell!

Laugh Lines:

A man is getting on a flight and he hears that the Pope is on the flight. He thinks, "Wow, great! What a safe place to be today." As he boards, he doesn't see the Pope and figures that maybe the other passengers were wrong. He takes his seat and is thankful that there is an empty next to him. Just before the flight closes on walks the Pope and sits next to him. The man thinks, "I am surely blessed. Here I am a good Catholic on a flight and the Pope is sitting next to me."

So the plane takes off and after a few minutes the passengers take off their seatbelts and the man looks sideways and sees the Pope reaching into his bag and takes out a crossword book. He thinks, "Not only am I blessed with the Pope next to me, but he does crosswords and so do I. Maybe he will ask for help."

The flight continues and the Pope is working his way through the puzzle and the man notices that the Pope is tapping his pencil thinking. The Pope turns to him and asks, "I usually don't talk to others on flights but I wonder if you can help me. " The man says, "Anything for you, your eminence. What is it?" The Pope says, "Do you know a four letter word for 'woman' that ends in u-n-t?"

The man feels uncomfortable. He thinks and thinks. Finally he says "The only word I can think of is aunt." The pope turns to him and asks "Do you have an eraser?"

That's it for now my little lug nuts. More Soon.

Stay Tuned !

Why "We Will Not Pay For Facebook" and Gold Membership Scams Refuse To Die

2010-02-23T09:17:00.007-05:00

This is a reprint from AOL Tech. Hopefully Facebook users and especially readers of Jimmy's Journal and Jimmy's Journal - The Original will take heed.

Why "We Will Not Pay For Facebook" and Gold Membership Scams Refuse to Die

by: Terrence O'Brien — Feb 23rd 2010 at 10:18AM

Facebook has become an indispensable part of daily life for many people. They use it to keep in touch with friends and family, to play games, and to track down old flames. So, it's only natural that folks would panic at the thought of having to pay for what has been a free service. And, of course, there are plenty of e-con men willing to exploit that fear for profit.

The 'We Will Not Pay for Facebook' Scam

Back in December, a group protesting Facebook and the company's rumored plans to charge users $4.99 a month, amassed well over 100,000 members. Of course, it was a giant scam; Facebook had no such agenda, and the group merely served to distribute links to a site that loaded up visiting PCs with malware. Two months later, the scam is back, this time claiming that Facebook plans to charge $3.99. And it's been even more successful. The three groups perpetrating the hoax have collected roughly 340,000 gullible Facebook users, and the number is still climbing.

A Facebook spokesperson denied even the possibility of such plans to the Telegraph, saying, "We have no plans to charge users for Facebook's basic services. Facebook is a free service..." That's a pretty clear statement, so why does this rumor seem so reluctant to die?

Gold Memberships?
There are other scams that play on, and add to, the confusion. The age-old "gold membership" scam has made its way to Facebook. These "upgrade" groups and pages prey on the unfounded fear of subscription fees, urging users: "GET YOUR UPGRADE WHILE THEIR FREE!!"

The promised free upgrade to the (nonexistent) Facebook Gold account leads you on a wild goose chase in which you spread the scam by inviting your friends, fill out a pointless survey, and ultimately hand over your cell phone number and sign up for a bogus service. The service, of course, does absolutely nothing, and charges your cell phone bill several dollars every month.

Staying Power

First, these are relatively well-constructed scams with believable rationales behind their claims of forthcoming fees. The groups' creators (or creator) claim that Facebook, hemorrhaging cash, is on the verge of being bought out by a nameless corporate entity. The groups even provide links to fake articles about the impending subscription fee. The Gold Membership trick only enhances the believability of the rumors. Users who may have been initially skeptical of the claims that Facebook planned to charge may suddenly become believers at the sight of a Facebook Gold Account logo.

Additionally, Facebook is not doing much to put their members' minds at ease. Not content with Facebook being a social network funded primarily through advertising, founder Mark Zuckerberg has pushed for the site's evolution into a development platform and marketplace. The latest fuel on the fire is Facebook's partnership with PayPal. The deal could allow users and companies to pay for ads, add credits for in-app purchases, and to buy games -- all using PayPal, and all directly through Facebook.

Facebook has also done very little to squash the false rumors; the groups seem to survive without much threat of deletion. The company's denial of the rumors is also vague enough (only stating that "Facebook's basic services" will always be free) to keep the truly paranoid person's mind churning.

None of that changes the fact that these groups are obvious scams. They're loaded with shady links and spam messages, and the administrators of all three groups use the same Cat Eye Promotions logo as their profile images.

How to Avoid the Scams

Just be smart. The gold membership pages are the most obvious. The groups urge you to upgrade "WHILE THEIR FREE." And, as if such flagrant misuse of the English language didn't set off enough alarms, you'll notice that the "comments" on these pages are just static images tied to malicious links.

In the end, the real reason people fall for the ruse is a willingness to believe anything they read, mixed with a palpable financial paranoia. This isn't unique to social networking and malware distributors, though. Less than admirable agenda-ists have been using similar tricks since the dawn of the nation.

This article was an eye opener for many people and hopefully, all of my friends and readers.

That's it for now. More soon.

Stay Tuned !

The Daytona 500 Final Two Lap Finish And Dale Earnhardt Jr's Nationwide Flip And Crash

2010-02-15T16:16:00.006-05:00

The 2010 Daytona 500 green-white-checkered finish as Jaime McMurray wins his first Daytona 500 (Note: Turn off the music on located on the left sidebar.)

Now that's a Daytona 500 finish! The following video is from the 2010 Daytona Nationwide race when a misjudged move by Carl Edwards send Dale Earnhardt Jr flipping down the backstretch.

Earnhardt was uninjured in the crash. That's racing at Daytona International Speedway. More soon.

Stay Tuned !

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T02:30:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day to all my family and friends. May your day be filled with warmth and happiness. As an afterthought, some red roses and some dark chocolates wouldn't hurt either.

Jimmy

Kevin Harvick Wins The Budweiser Shootout - Danica Shines !

2010-02-07T09:00:00.001-05:00

The Nascar Championship season began Saturday afternoon with Daytona 500 pole qualifying and veteran Mark Martin won his first Daytona 500 pole. Dale Earnhardt Jr qualified on the outside pole giving team owner Rick Hendrick sole possession of the front row. The Twin 125 mile qualifying races on Thursday will determine further positions for next Sunday's Daytona 500.
The ARCA 200 was run following the Sprint Cup qualifying and the crowd was buzzing over Indy car racer Danica Patrick's stock car debut, wondering how Danica would handle the switch from the lightweight Indy cars to the heavier stock cars. A record six women started the race and Patrick, along with Jennifer Jo Cobb, both ran very competive races. Lack of seat time and experience was the determining factor for the ladies, but both showed potential.
There were multiple wrecks in the early laps and Bobby Gerhart, a four time Daytona ARCA 200 winner took the early lead of the race. Midrace, Danica Patrick, who was running in an admirable seventh position, was forced into the infield by rookie Nelson Piquet, who evidently was unaware that Patrick was beneath him. The result was a wild, high speed spin through the infield. Patrick handled the spin like a veteran, keeping the car off the wall and running through the infield.
Patrick's car was fairly undamaged and after a series of repairs, she was still on the lead lap running at the back of the field. A later caution flag for wrecks allowed Patrick to catch back up to the field where she remained competitive. Bobby Gerhap held off James Buescher and Mark Thompson to win his fifth ARCA 200. Danica Patrick finished in a respectable sixth position.
The Budweiser Shoutout at Daytona International Speedway kicked off the Nascar Sprint Cup Championship season and the race was very interesting. I expected a little more separation between the cars because of the new rules, but they ran in a very competitive pack right from the start. A proverbial chess game of moves and strategy kept positions two through ten constantly changing, but Kevin Harvick put his Chevrolet in front right from the start and was never headed.

The race ended under an anticlimactic caution flag as Jeff Gordon dumped second place Greg Biffle on the final lap causing a big wreck. Gordon has had a tendency to stick his nose into the flay numerous times in the past, and as usual, he came out smelling like a rose as he was able to avoid Biffle after dumping him.
All in all, it was a tense and interesting race and the Shootout looks like an indication of what will come in next Sunday's Daytona 500.

Laugh Lines: Ole Larson is a farmer in Minnesota. He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in North Dakota. He drives to North Dakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. He reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls, the cow farts. Ole is very surprised. He looks at the farmer who is selling the cow, then reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again.
Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's owner, Ole decides to buy the cow and takes it home. When he gets back to Minnesota , he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, "Hey, Sven, come look at this here new cow I just bought. Pull her teat, and see what happens." Sven reaches under, pulls the teat and the cow farts.
Sven looks at Ole and says, "You bought this here cow in North Dakota, didn't yah?" Ole is very surprised since he had not told Sven about his trip. Ole replies, "Yah, Thats right. But how'd you know?" Sven says, "My wife's from North Dakota."
That's it for now. More soon.
Stay Tuned !

The Truth Is That A.A.R.P. Could Care Less About The Welfare Of Its Members !

2010-01-17T00:27:00.013-05:00

This is a reprint of an article from Bloomberg.com. For those of you who are members of A.A.R.P., you might want to read the following excerpts. AARP doesn't have the best interest of seniors in mind. It's true goals are for it's own bottom line......

Jimmy

Dec. 4 (Bloomberg) -- Arthur Laupus joined AARP because he thought the nonprofit senior-citizen-advocacy group would make his retirement years easier. He signed up for an auto insurance policy endorsed by AARP, believing the advertising that said he would save money.

He didn’t. When Laupus, 71, compared his car insurance rate with a dozen other companies, he found he was paying twice the average. Why? One reason, he learned, was because AARP was taking a cut out of his premium before sending the money to Hartford Financial Services Group, the provider of the coverage.

Laupus stumbled onto something that many members of the world’s largest seniors’ organization don’t know: The group, formerly called American Association of Retired Persons, collects hundreds of millions of dollars annually from insurers who pay for AARP’s endorsement of their policies.

The insurance companies build the cost of these so-called royalties and fees, which amounted to $497.6 million in 2007, into the premiums they charge AARP members, according to AARP’s consolidated financial statement for that year.

AARP uses the royalties and fees to fund about half the expenses that pay for activities such as publishing brochures about health care and consumer fraud -- as well as for paying down the $200 million bond debt that funded the association’s marble and brass-studded Washington headquarters.

In addition, AARP holds clients’ insurance premiums for as long as a month and invests the money, which added $40.4 million to its revenue in 2007.

"There's an inherent conflict of interest....They're ending up becoming very dependent on sources of income." - Former AARP Executive Marilyn Moon, quoted in Bloomberg article.

The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services announced it was investigating Humana for providing "misleading" information regarding the Administration's proposed cuts to Medicare Advantage policies-and prohibited other Medicare Advantage plans from providing similar information on how Democrat health "reform" could take away their current coverage.

Yet the Administration's edict prohibiting plans from communicating with their beneficiaries failed to include AARP, which sponsors a Medicare Advantage plan but has been a prime advocate of Democrats' government takeover of health care-quite possibly because AARP has been supporting a health care overhaul from which it stands to gain overall handsomely.

Even as AARP advocates for cutting Medicare Advantage plans by more than $150 billion, an analysis of the organization's operations reveals that it stands to receive tens of millions of dollars at the expense of seniors' medical care-with Democrats' full approval:

** The Congressional Budget Office has previously estimated that the cuts to Medicare Advantage plans proposed in Democrats' government takeover of health care (H.R. 3200) would cause millions of seniors to lose their current plan and enroll in government-run Medicare.

** Because the government-run Medicare benefit is less generous than most private health plans, the independent Medicare Payment Advisory Commission found in June that more than nine in ten seniors not in nursing home settings utilize some form of Medicare supplemental insurance.

** While many of these individuals currently rely on Medicare Advantage plans for the extra benefits they provide to seniors, many would be forced to purchase supplemental Medigap policies should their existing Medicare Advantage plans be taken away from them due to Democrats' government takeover of health care.

** A review of its financial statements finds that in 2008, AARP received more than half a billion dollars in revenue from selling products like Medigap supplemental insurance policies-$652.7 million in direct "royalties and fees," and an increase of more than 31 percent from the $497.6 million in similar revenue AARP generated in 2007.

** Royalty revenues now comprise more than half-60.3 percent-of all AARP revenues; a Bloomberg news analysis published in December found that in 1999, royalties comprised only 11 percent of the organization's total revenues.

** The Bloomberg article-which highlighted what one observer called AARP's "dirty little secret"-profiled seniors who felt betrayed after paying hundreds of dollars above market price for AARP-branded coverage. One noted that "AARP has great buying power, and people should be able to get the best deal....This is unconscionable, what AARP has allowed to happen."

Another disillusioned senior wrote to the organization's leadership asking whether AARP had a "‘special relationship' with (insurance carriers) by which it receives commissions, incentives, rebates, or dare I say ‘kickbacks?'"-and when he arrived at AARP headquarters for a tour, was promptly escorted out of the marble-covered atrium.

** While H.R. 3200 would place strict price controls on Medicare Advantage plans-requiring them to pay out 85 percent of premium revenues in medical claims-Medigap policies face a far less strict 65 percent requirement. In other words, under the Democrat bill, seniors could pay as much as 20 cents more out of every premium dollar to fund "kickbacks" to AARP-sponsored Medigap plans than Medicare Advantage plans.

The higher prices charged by AARP plans and the organization's increasing dependence upon revenue from "royalties," provide tangible evidence why AARP would support cuts to Medicare Advantage that would likely increase their "kickbacks" from Medigap plans. However, it does not answer several key questions:

** Given the myriad new layers of insurance regulation included in Democrats' government takeover of health care, why does the legislation not include a single provision attempting to impose any new restrictions on Medigap policies?

** Did Democrats "forget" to protect seniors-or were they informed that AARP could not support legislation that would limit its lucrative revenue source?

** Similarly, did CMS "forget" to include AARP among the organizations whose First Amendment rights to inform seniors of harmful Medicare provisions were restricted-or did the Administration only wish to silence its critics, and not outside organizations using "kickbacks" to fund advertising in support of the Democrat agenda?

These questions hint at a more fundamental query: With seniors believing that AARP is "making money on the backs of old people," who should believe that the organization is looking out for seniors' interests and not its own?

That's it for now. More soon.

Stay Tuned !

New Los Angeles Driving Exam

2010-01-13T19:39:00.007-05:00

There are certain things that just strike me funny and the following application for a California driver's license is one of them. For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who do, study real hard. This is a new exam.

Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special application and driver's test solely for the Los Angeles Metropolitan Area. Here it is below:

GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:
Name:______________ Stage name: ________________

Agent:______________ Attorney:__________________

Sex: ___male ___female ___formerly male ___formerly female ___both

If female, indicate breast implant size: ____Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___

Please list brand of cell phone: ________.

If you don't own a cell phone, please explain:________________________

Please check hair color: Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum BlondeTeenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead

Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that apply)

[ ] Eating [ ] Applying make-up [ ] Talking on the phone [ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat [ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs [ ] Tanning [x] Snorting cocaine (already checked for ease of application) [ ] Watching TV[ ] Reading Variety [ ] Surfing the net via laptop

Please indicate how many times:

a) you expect to shoot at other drivers ____
b) how many times you expect to be shot at while driving ____

If you are the victim of a car jacking, you should immediately:

a) Call the police to report the crime
b) Call Channel 4 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news in a high-speed chase
c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 call not going through
d) Call your therapist
e) None of the above (South Central residents only)

In the event of an earthquake, should you:

a) stop your car
b) keep driving and hope for the best
c) immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones
d) pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 4

In the instance of rain, you should:

a) decelerate by 5 mph
b) drive twice as fast as usual
c) you're not sure what "rain" is

Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: ____.

Are you presently taking any of the following medications?

a) Prozac
b) Zovirax
c) Lithium
d) Zanax
e) Valium
f) Zoloft
If none, please explain: __________________.

Length of daily commute:

a) 1 hour
b) 2 hours
c) 3 hours
d) 4 hours or more

When stopped by police, should you:

a) pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready
b) try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405 Freeway
c) have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit.

A Georgia State Trooper pulled a car over on I-95 about 2 miles south of the Georgia/South Carolina state line. When the Trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and a juggler and he was on his way to Savannah to do a show that night at the Shrine Circus and didn't want to be late.

The Trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling, and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket. The driver told the Trooper that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The Trooper told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his patrol car and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler stated that he could, so the Trooper got three flares, lit them and handed them to the juggler.

While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunk good old boy got out and watched the performance briefly, he then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The Trooper observed him doing this and went over to the patrol car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing. The drunk replied, "You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there's no way in hell I can pass that test."

That's it for now. More soon.

Stay Tuned !

Happy New Year !

2010-01-01T02:30:00.001-05:00

Happy New Year To all my family, friends and readers. For those of you who opted to imbibe last evening, I hope your hangover runs it's course quickly. I do recommend checking your foreheads for any scratches or impressions made from the lampshade that you so cleverly decided would look funny as a hat.

2010 will hopefully be more prosperous and healthy for all. Assuming that the economy rebounds this year, I'm sure that everyone looks forward to better times.

As for the White House and Congress, I hope that they can get through 2010 without screwing the American public as little as possible. For those of you who are interested, I am starting a write-in campaign to have Dr. Jack Kevorkian nominated as the White House and Congressional physician.

For your New Year's dining and dancing pleasure I give you the following scenario for your consideration and comments:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 45 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Conservative Answer:

BANG!

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?

That's it for now my little sharpshooters. Have a great day and more soon!

Stay Tuned!

Merry Christmas And Happy Holidays To All

2009-12-24T16:40:00.004-05:00

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of my family and friends. May the coming year be safe and and brighter for all.

Stay Tuned !

Happy Thanksgiving !

2009-11-26T11:13:00.004-05:00

I would like to wish all of my family, friends and readers a very Happy Thanksgiving Day.

Stay Tuned !

NASCAR Needs To Make Some Rule Changes To Insure Driver Safety !

2009-11-03T22:24:00.005-05:00

The Nascar Talladega race last Sunday was marred by the dangerous crash of Ryan Newman in the waning moments of the race. Nascar has the Sprint Cup drivers so handcuffed with rules aimed at keeping speeds lower that it forces the drivers to run three abreast, bumper to bumper at speeds of over 190 miles per hour in the closing laps of every race.

Whether or not Nascar intends for wrecks like this one to happen is immaterial. Not surprising, however, is the fact that if the cars are not bunched up with twenty laps to go, inevitably Nascar discovers "debris" on the track and throws the caution flag.

Nascar needs to take the carburetor restrictions off the engines, put in smaller motors and make these cars a little harder to drive. This will separate the real racers from the rest of the pack and, more importantly, better insure driver safety.

That's if for now my little speed bumps. More soon!

Stay Tuned!

Happy Halloween

2009-10-31T10:00:00.000-04:00

I haven't made an entry here in a while so I thought I'd post some of the Halloween pictures that are on the internet. I particularly like these because of the darkness of the theme.

A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked. The priest asked, "What did you take?" The man answered, "Enough to build my own house and enough for my son's house. And houses for our two daughters and our cottage at the lake.

The priest said, "This is very serious!" I shall have to think of a far-reaching penance. Have you ever done a retreat?" The man replied, "No, Father, I haven't, but if you can get the plans, I can get the lumber."

A young preacher was contacted by the local funeral director to hold a grave-side committal service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong turns. He arrived a half-hour late, the hearse was nowhere in sight, and the workmen were eating lunch.

The pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place. Taking out his book, he read the service. As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say, "You think we should tell him it's a septic tank?"

Have a great weekend and enjoy Halloween. More soon.

Stay Tuned !

Ain't It The Truth !

2009-08-04T10:02:00.005-04:00

In the year 2009, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again the earth has become wicked and overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans, thy sons and their wives." He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard -- but no Ark. "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision."

"Then, the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it."

"Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentaliststhat I needed the wood to save the owls -- but no go!"

"When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space. I am required to apply for 834 different licenses to keep wild beasts on private property."

"Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on Your proposed flood. Further, the pitch to water-poof the ark has been banned by the EPA as inimical to the environment."

"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew."

"Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work. The scaffolding to build the superstructure is not OSHA-approved and is forbidden to use except for private structures less than 5 cubits."

"The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience."

"To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species."

"So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 100 years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean You're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

A man and wife attended church one evening, and the wife decided that it was time to stop her husband from sleeping in Church. So, she took her hat pin and decided she would poke him every time he fell asleep. Right about the first time he falls asleep, the preacher asks, "And who created the Universe?" The wife poked her husband and he awakes and yells, "My God!"

The second time he falls asleep, the preacher asks, "And who died on the cross for you?" She pokes her husband and he screams, "Jesus Christ!"

The third time, the Preacher asks, " And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" The wife pokes her husband and he jumps up and yells, "By God, if you poke me with that thing one more time, I am going to break it off!"

That's it for now my little carpenters. More soon.

Stay Tuned !

Remembering The Beatles

2009-07-17T10:45:00.013-04:00

The 60's produced some of the most imaginative and newest sounds of the day when The Beatles arrived in America. Their enormous appeal had the same effects on the public as the early days of Frank Sinatra and Elvis Presley.

The recent appearance of Paul McCartney on the David Letterman Show and the subsequent outdoor performance by McCartney brought back old memories and especially The Beatles live performances on the Ed Sullivan Show.

Authors Note: The videos originally posted in this entry have been removed from YouTube because of copyright infringement. They have been replaced by other Beatles performances of that era. Remember to turn off the playlist audio on my sidebar.

This is another video taken from The Beatles appearance in Shea Stadium. It was an unbelievable new musical direction of the times with a totally new sound. As a musician and singer, the distinct sound of British rock was very intriguing and The Beatles and other groups including the Rolling Stones certainly changed musical America.

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a rather heavy, not too attractive, older lady walked up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady walked between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a beautiful, young woman stepped out. The father, said quietly to his son, "Go get your Mother".

That's it for now my little orange blossoms. More soon!

Stay Tuned !

Tony Stewart Wins The Daytona 400 With An Unbelievable Last Lap Multi-Car Crash !

2009-07-05T14:42:00.020-04:00

The Daytona 400 was run Saturday night at Daytona International Speedway and although the middle part of the race was a little tedious, the final laps proved to be interesting indeed.
Tony Stewart led the majority of the laps and had the dominant car, leading a race-high 86 laps and using a flawless pit-road performance to set himself up for his second win as owner of his race team. In what's becoming a Nascar norm, the caution flag came out with less than 10 laps to go creating an almost guaranteed scenario for a last lap multi-car crash.

The video's shown in today's post are an after the fact analysis by the commentators, including former race driver Kyle Petty. The first video gives the best generalization of the final laps and the second video has a more close up view with several fantastic shots of the final crash. Remember to turn off the sound from my music playlist before viewing the videos.

On the restart, Tony Stewart took the lead with Kyle Busch on his outside. Stewart was followed by Denny Hamlin while Bush was followed by Jimmy Johnson.

Busch, in an excellent outside move, took the lead just before the last lap. Stewart chased him down and closed in on Busch’s bumper, and slight contact sent Busch drifting up the track.

Busch drove back down to maintain his lead, then tried to slide in front of Stewart to block Stewart’s next move. The cars were too close together and Stewart hooked Busch’s right corner to send Busch sailing into the wall.

The end result was a multi-car crash with Stewart winning the race. Jimmy Johnson finished second with Denny Hamlin finishing third.

Kyle Busch is probably one of the most talented drivers I've ever seen. His main problems are his lack of patience and his temper. Busch's first block on Stewart was considered "an allowable block" by most race car drivers, but his second block, under existing Nascar rules, left Stewart no choice but to hold his position and sent Busch into the outside retaining wall.
Under current Nascar rules, a driver cannot pass another driver by going below the double yellow stripe on the inside lane of the track. This rule was tested at a 2008 race at Talladega International Speedway when rookie Regan Smith passed leader Tony Stewart on the last lap. Stewart had moved down to block Smith and Smith, rather that turn Stewart and crash him, went below the yellow line to effect the pass.
Nascar, contrary to it's own rules which allow the driver to go below the yellow line if forced there, ruled the pass illegal and Regan was placed in 18th position. This ruling sent a message to the drivers that, in any future race, should the leading car attempt to block, a driver should hold his ground and let the chips fall where they may.
Combine this with the new rule that all restarts, including restarts with less than ten laps to go, will be started double file and you can predict what will happen next. The aforementioned is the perfect recipe for the type of last lap multi-car crash that was seen on Saturday night.
Although exciting, my thinking is that there will be new rules effected soon to alleviate the possibility of the dangerously famous last lap crashes.
That's it for now my little bumper cars. More soon.

Stay Tuned !

What's Your Take On This ?

2009-06-01T15:25:00.003-04:00

I've known about this for a while. I was just wondering if you were aware of this information. The world of politics has some strange bedfellows.

I wonder if there will ever be a time when polticians ever really represent the average American no matter what the political cost.

Stay Tuned !

Happy Mother's Day To All The Ladies !

2009-05-10T11:29:00.004-04:00

One of the most special days of the year is Mother's Day and I always like to take time to remember all of the lovely ladies who, before going to bed each night, make sandwiches for the next day's lunches, take meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, check the cereal box levels, fil the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and starts the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then puts some wet clothes in the dryer, puts a load of clothes into the washer, irons a shirt and secures a loose button. She puts the phone back on the charger, waters the plants, empties a wastebasket and hangs up a towel to dry.

Then she stops by the desk, writes a note to the teacher, counts out some cash for the field trip, and pulls a text book out from hiding under the chair. She signs a birthday card for a friend, addresses and stamps the envelope and writes a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse.

Mom then washes her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her night solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushes and flosses her teeth and files her nails.

Dad always says, 'I thought you were going to bed. ''I'm on my way,' she says. She puts some water into the dog's dish, then makes sure the doors are locked and the patio light is on. She looks in on each of the kids and turns out their bedside lamps and TV's , hangs up a shirt, throws some dirty socks into the hamper, and has a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.

In her own room, she sets the alarm, lays out clothing for the next day and straightens up the shoe rack. She adds three things to her 6 most important things to do list. She says her prayers, and visualizes the accomplishment of her goals.

Dad? He went to bed too!

It's a job that I'm glad I don't have to do and a good reason for having a special day set aside each year to honor all the Moms. Realistically, every day should be Mother's Day!

Happy Mothers Day to all the ladies!

Jimmy

Bedroom Golf - The Recession Spawns New Games !

2009-03-27T15:04:00.015-04:00

From time to time, I learn of new games and recently, my pal Garnett sent me information on the newest game born from the current recession. Since the cost of playing golf has become so expensive, The game is called bedroom golf and the rules of the game are as follows:

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.

2. Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole.

3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out.

4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins.

5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole.

6. Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary until the owner is satisfied play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again.

7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and bunkers.

8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage a players equipment for this reason.

9. Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear, just in case.

10. Players should not assume that the course is in shape to play at all times. Players may be embarrassed if they find the course temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case.

11. Players should assume their match has been properly scheduled particularly when playing a new course for the 1st time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else is playing what they considered a private course.

12. The owner of the course is responsible for the pruning of any bushes, which may reduce the visibility of the hole.

13. Players are strongly advised to get the owners permission before attempting to play the backside.

14. Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace at the owners request.

15. It is considered an outstanding performance, time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match.

There was a papa mole, a mamma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Mamma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."

During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table. "Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you." The physician, "All right, I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're through." In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness, "Doctor, I've undressed. What shall I do with my clothes?" The physicain said, "Put them on the chair, on top of mine."

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"

At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How much for a season pass?"

That's it for now my little sweet peas. More soon.

Stay Tuned !

Lost In The 50's - A Return To My Childhood

2009-03-01T10:30:00.003-05:00

The 50's was a magical era and life seemed very simple. Ike was president and America was prosperous. The New York Yankees and the Brooklyn Dodgers were my two favorite baseball teams and my hero, Rocky Marciano, was the heavyweight boxing champion of the world, These were my formative years and I keep the memories in that special little place in my heart, knowing that it only happens once.

I went through elementary and junior high schooling during the 50's and the lessons learned in and out of the classroom were instrumental in the formation of my character. School was a fun but stern place and the teachers took no prisoners. If you got into trouble, the teacher paddled you. You took your punishment and held your tongue lest the teacher give you a note to take to your parents. If you did get a note, it meant a worse fate was in store when you presented the note to your parents. I always gave my note to my mother with the hope that she would deal with it and not pass it on to my father.

School was also a social place and I enjoyed that part immensely. Music was at the top of everyone's conversation and the birth of rock and roll made it even more fun. There were only a few radio stations and they were AM at that. The radio stations played all the songs. There were no specialty stations....no rock and roll station, no country music station, no big band station. There was the stations and they played everything.

Radio was big in those days as very few people had television sets and only a few people had telephones. At night, the family would actually "watch the radio" as shows like Gangbusters, Amos and Andy, The Green Hornet, The Lone Ranger (my favorite), Inner Sanctum, Dragnet and many others played. You watched the radio and what you saw was limitless as your imagination provided the mental video.

Our radio was an RCA Victor and it was about a foot wide and a foot tall. It had two knobs, the tuner and the volume. The top of the radio would open up exposing a turn table with a single metal rod. The record speeds were 33 and 1/3 or 78 and the records were all the size of a modern day LP album. The only difference was that the record had one song on each side. You had to be very careful because it you dropped the record, it would shatter and break.

My brother Kirt and I started singing together and in the sixth grade, my teacher, Mr. Hall, taught me to play the guitar. I, in turn taught my brother to play, as well, and the Sullivan Brothers began performing for anyone who would listen. We sang all of the Everly Brothers songs as well as all the rock and roll songs of the day.

My Brother and I actually started singing country music and I can remember distinctly when the sad news came over the radio, reporting that Hank Williams had passed away in the back seat of his car. Williams was one of my favorite singers and his untimely death really upset my brother and I.

The 50's was a wonderful time for me and I thought I'd reminisce those times with you. I added a special playlist for this entry and I hope it brings you fond memories. It did for me.

Stay Tuned !

Noah, That's One Hell Of An Ark !

2009-02-07T15:38:00.015-05:00

I'm not real sure what prompted this man to build an ark, but build it he did. I don't even know the man's name, but according to the information that was forwarded to me, the ark was built according to the measurements in the Bible.

Nevertheless, it's quite a sight and an accomplishment and it's neat to see the actual size of ark described in the Bible.

Stay Tuned !

An Open Letter To A Mugger

2009-01-27T10:02:00.000-05:00

My thanks to a special friend who forwarded me this. It's an excellent letter from an unnamed source to a street monkey who mugged him.

To The Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown:

I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.

Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 . 45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to crawl under the rock you came from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since I also ended up taking your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation.

I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder?

I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.

Peace!

I don't know if this open letter is factual or born from the frustration of someone who was just tired of killers, thieves and muggers who are the 6 o'clock lead story of the Everytown, USA local news. It's a beautiful thought, either way.

Stay Tuned !

A Nostalgic Trip Back To The Gas Stations Of The Past

2009-01-21T12:58:00.004-05:00

One thing I miss about the past is gas stations that provided one with service and a smile. You could drive into the gas station and run over the little hose that sounded the service bell. The neatly attired attendant would come out, take your request for gasoline and begin pumping. During the fill up, the attendant would check your oil and water, check the battery and clean your windshield. If you requested, the attendant would also check your tires to make sure they had the required pressure. Women and most men did not know how to operate the gas pump as there was no real necessity to learn the process.

Restrooms were usually clean and all necessary items such as hand towels and toilet paper were always on hand. Upon returning to your car and paying for your gasoline and any incidental items, you were rewarded for your patronage in the way of stamps which could be redeemed for merchandise. Additionally, there were give-aways of glasses and plates as a sign of thanks for visiting the establishment.

Gas prices were low in comparison to today and taking inflation into effect, the gas cost ratio to average incomes was much better. Better yet, you could buy a Coca Cola for around ten cents (including deposit).

Today's pictures are just some of the gas stations around the United States in days of yore and I found them interesting and nostalgic. I hope you enjoy them.

Stay Tuned !

Life Is Like A Box Of Chocolates

2009-01-02T15:30:00.016-05:00

Women are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you'll get. With that in mind, Let's combined the two and get the best of both worlds.

Too cute! I'm amazed at the results of some of the photoshop experts. It's something I'd like to look into.

Stay Tuned !

New Year's Resolutions

2008-12-31T17:09:00.014-05:00

Tonight is New Year's Eve and I'd like to wish everyone a safe and Happy New Year. In the Interim, here's some New Year's resolutions from people in the news.

Stay Tuned !

Political Garbage Continues To Flow From Illinois

2008-12-11T10:20:00.008-05:00

There's really not much need for words if you understand politics in Illinois, especially Chicago. From Tony Rezko to Rev Jeremiah Wright to Barack Hussein Obama, the political garbage from Illinois wreaks of pay-offs, scamming, skimming and anything else the sorry bastards can get away with.

You can now add the likes of Governor Rod Blagojevich to that constant stream of low life politicians that come from Chicago. Three of the last seven Illinois governors have gone to prison and it looks like "Blago" will soon be joining that group.
The amazing thing is that the national media has turned its head for the last two years because of the coming of "the anointed one" and it takes a scandal like this to force them to take another look at the politicians that come out of Chicago, Illinois.

Methinks there's still more to be learned about who's running Chicago (and possibly the nation), despite the obviously overlooked scandals of the likes of Tony Rezko, Jeremiah Wright and Rod Blagojevich.

Stay Tuned !

December 7, 1941

2008-12-07T19:37:00.007-05:00

The pictures tell it all ! Remember the men and women who sacrificed their lives defending out freedom.

Stay Tuned !

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T17:01:00.001-05:00

Best wishes for a happy Thanksgiving to all !

Remembering JFK

2008-11-22T22:55:00.005-05:00

John Fitzgerald Kennedy,1917-1963, 35th President of the United States (1961-1963).

On November 22, 1963, John Fitzgerald Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas Texas. I had just graduated from high school where I got my first dose of reality during the Cuban Missile Crisis. One week after graduation, my friend and I took a 1954 Ford which he purchased for $50 and went to Birmingham, Alabama to follow the NASCAR Modified Series.
Three months later, I returned to Miami and got my first job at a warehouse about a mile from my home. It was at that job on November, 22, 1963 that the public address system came on and it was announced that the president had been shot and had been rushed to the hospital in Dallas, Texas.
As people scrambled to tune their portable radios to the news, I couldn't help but believe that someone would soon announce that the president had undergone surgery and would be fine. But, it was not to be.....
Soon thereafter, it was announced that the president was pronounced dead at 2:00 p.m Central Standard Time. We were told to go home and that we would be paid for the entire day.
As I slowly walked home, I remembered how John Wayne always seem to survive all of those war movies. That was my second dose of the realities of life and little did I know that there was a place called Vietnam that would soon complicate my life and millions of other lives as well.

I cried as I watched the funeral of John F. Kennedy.

Veterans Day

2008-11-11T12:15:00.010-05:00

Today is Veterans Day and across the nation, millions of Americans are remembering the men and women of the armed forces that have sacrificed themselves for God and Country. Today is not just a day that banks and schools are closed. In reality, it's not even a holiday. It's a time to refelct and realize the reason that we live free in this great nation is because of the countless men and women who have served this country since it's beginning.

Today is a day that each and every one of us should make a mental note to do something for these good Americans. Please take the time to recognize these veterans, be it a phone call to a veteran that you might know or just a plain "thank you" to a man or woman in uniform. You have no idea how the warmth and love that a simple gesture like this means to a veteran.

James M. Sullivan Jr.

Combat Medic
Specialist 5th Class
United States Army Reserve
1966-1971

A beautiful Autumn Picture

2008-11-05T20:13:00.008-05:00

My friend, Nancy, always has great pictures and this happens to be one of them. You can see more of Nancy's pictures at the link below.

and

http://nancyluvspix.blogspot.com/

and

Stay Tuned !

The Natives Are Restless !

2008-11-04T16:08:00.003-05:00

Shades of reverse intimidation - Black panther groups standing vigil(?) in Pennsylvania and Virginia (caught on tape) with night sticks in hand. Tip: Talk softly and carry a .38 !

For the more timid, place boxes of Church's fried chicken around the area indiscriminately to distract them. Then, slip in and vote.

Stay Tuned !

Sunset Over Florida Cypress Trees

2008-11-03T14:49:00.003-05:00

I had to post this beautiful picture of the sunsetting on cypress trees in Florida. The roots of these trees are beautiful and were offtimes abused in the past. The roots, when cut, sanded and polished, make beautiful coffee tables. Unfortunately, this practice was often done at the expense of the tree.

This post is uncommonly short as it was posted on a whim. That's it for now. More soon.

Stay Tuned !

Politicians Are Assholes !

2008-10-27T08:45:00.004-04:00

I'm tired of the same rhetoric from politicians from the presidential candidates down to the local politicians in the cities and towns across America. Their speeches have been reduced to childish name calling and they rarely speak about their true platforms, to wit:

Hello,

My name is Lying Politician and I'm a candidate for (mayor, city council, congress, dog catcher...whatever). My opponent, Thieving Politician, is a wife beater, communist, socialist, drunkard, and car thief.

If elected, I will cut your taxes, buy you a car, send your children to college and mow your lawn. Please vote for me on November 4th.

Is this the new politics of America? Insult your opponent, promise the voters anything (whether possible or not) and be as vague as possible about your platform?

Politicians are becoming lower than whale shit and that's quite a feat indeed, seeing that whale shit is at the deepest depths of the oceans.

Stay Tuned !

Politics As Usual

2008-10-17T14:40:00.000-04:00

I Have Returned !

2008-10-09T08:24:00.005-04:00

All of Jimmy's Journal entries and archives now reside at this new site. For the most part, there will only be random postings here as my new site, Jimmy's Journal, has it's own address. But, I would be remiss in not maintaining a site for my original postings.

and

Stop by from time to time and read some of my earlier rants, raves and musings.

and

That's it for now, my little pilgrims.

and

Stay Tuned !

Goodbye AOL Journals

2008-10-03T14:36:00.000-04:00

To all my friends and readers:

I have decided that today will be my last post on AOL Journals. I have been posting here since December 5, 2006 and my journal has been read nearly 16,000 times since that date. My experiences and the friends that I have met are very dear to me and it is a painful experience for me to leave.

Unfortunately, AOL has left all the journalists with this problem and I'm quite pleased to to see many of my fellow journalists establishing new homesteads on Blogspot.com. I will continue to receive my alerts from all of my readers and will answer each and every one of them as they come in.

I find it way too taxing to continue to maintain this journal and maintain my new journal as well. It only seems fitting that I attend to the new child and nurse it through it's infancy.

So, with a very heavy heart, I bid AOL Journals a fond farewell and I look forward to hearing from you at my new site. Here are the links to Jimmy's Journal and Possum's Journal as well.

Jimmy's Journal: http://jimsulliv3.blogspot.com/

Possum's Journal: http://pshemmingway.blogspot.com/

It has been my pleasure writing and posting my thoughts, whims and occasional rants for you!

Stay Tuned !

Tags: JimSulliv3, Jimmy's Journal, pshemmingway, Jimmys AREA 51, My Perfect Martini, Jimmy's Journal Final Post On AOL, http://jimsulliv3.blogspot.com/, Jimmys-MySpace, http://pshemmingway.blogspot.com/, http://journals.aol.com/jimsulliv3/jimmys-journal/, AREA 51, The CAT Award, The TAC Award, The Cat's Ass Trophy, Adios

Changes In Attitude, Changes In Latitude

2008-10-02T17:40:00.000-04:00

My trip to AREA 51 last evening was very relaxing, although unproductive. The transition of ownership is going through its initial stages and I don't expect any thing new until the renovations and the name change take place. In the interim, it freed up my fried mind and I was able to relax and not continually reach for my computer keyboard and backspace.

It's day three of my transition to Blogspot and I'm becoming more familiar with its idiosyncrasies. I will pass on anything I learn to all of you and will try to keep you abreast (or a leg) of anything new.

I am still going through withdrawal so if my posts seem short, it's because I am trying to mentally digest all the new changes. Life as we know it will resume shortly.

The Picture: I think that at least once in every lifetimea one must experience something out of the ordinary. Such is the case of an establishment appropriately called The Heart Attack Grill. Take a gander at the "hamburger" they serve there. The lovely "hostesses" notwithstanding, think I'd take ones hot at it (the hamburger folks, the hamburger).

This Date In History 1836 British naturalist Charles Darwin returns to Falmouth, England, aboard the HMS Beagle. 1955 Alfred Hitchcock Presents, a suspense series introduced by the British film director, appears on American television. 1967 Thurgood Marshall is sworn in as the first black justice of theU. S. Supreme Court

1985; The AIDS crisis gains widespread public attention following the death of American actor Rock Hudson, the first celebrity to publicly announce that he had AIDS. 1990; The German Democratic Republic (East Germany) ceases to exist at midnight, and on October 3, East and West Germany are formally reunited.

Birthdays: Mohandas Gandhi, Indian nationalist leader (1869), Groucho Marx, American comedian (1895), Graham Greene, English novelist (1895), Sting (Gordon Sumner) British singer, songwriter and actor (1951).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: During the change from AOL Journals to Blogspot, many journalists are experiencing computer problems. As a public service, Jimmy's Journal offers the following advice:

1) When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.

2) When you get to the point of completely understanding how to produce your journal, the site you use will shut down and you have to start all over.

3) The first place to look for information may actually be the instructions.

4) When the going gets tough, upgrade.

5) For every action there is an equal and opposite malfunction.

6) To err is human...to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.

7) He who laughs last probably made a back-up.

8) If at first you don't succeed, blame your computer.

9) A complex system that does not work well is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.

10) A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.

That's it for today my little transplants. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Slowly But Surely, Step by Step, Inch By Inch.....

2008-10-01T16:51:00.000-04:00

I'm already frustrated enough today to start drinking early except that there's no Johnny Walker Black in my house. The son-of-a-bitch probably migrated over to Blogspot.com as well. Yeah, I established a journal over there too and it's called Jimmy's Journal. Hell of an idea, huh? On top of that, I was taking a shower last night and when I came out of the bathroom, Shithead was on my computer setting up his own journal too.

Ok! Now, I'm doing my journal on AOL and Blogspot and giving time for Shithead to make his entry on his new journal. Add to that the fact that Blogspot routine is totally new to me and each day is a learning process and you have a man that is ready to go to AREA 51 tonight and sip a few cocktails with my pals.

Speaking of AREA 51, those of you who are members and need the icons associated with it, please let me know. There is a way to put the icons on your sidebar and I will be putting that info in this journal tomorrow or Friday and also in the new journal on Blogspot. In the interim, her are the links to Jimmy's Journal on Blogspot and Shithead's Journal, as well.

http://jimsulliv3.blogspot.com/ & http://pshemmingway.blogspot.com/

The economy is still in a snit and a lot of people are not in favor of passing the "bailout" bill. To a degree, I concur, but there needs to be something put in place soon to get the economy rolling again. In a healthy economy, money continually changes hands and when that slows, so does the economy. The one thing that is certain is that the democrats want the rich people to fund the problem and the rich people won't pay. I guess the shrinking middle class will eventually be the payers.

The Pictures: A little mooselet (I know! I just like the name) was rescued from a freezing lake and once rescued and freed by the good Samaritan, it promptly returned to the ice and almost drowned again. Unable to find the mother, the Samaritan took it home. He kept it for a few days and then turned it over to people who had more room and were also raising an abandoned fawn. Take a look.

This Date In History: 1880; Spain sells the North American Territory of Louisiana to France by the treaty of San Francisco. 1903; The American League's Boston Pilgrims play the National League's Pittsburgh Pirates in the first World Series game.

1908; Ford's Model T goes on sale in America; the "Tin Lizzy" costs $850. 1938; German troops enter Czechoslovakia, precipitating World War II. 1961; American baseball player Roger Maris breaks the record for the most home runs in one season.

Birthdays: Henry III, king of England (1207), Paul Dukas, French composer (1865), Vladimir Horowitz, Russian-American pianist (1904), Walter Matthau, actor (1920), Jimmy Carter, 39th president of the United States (1924), Julie Andrews, English-born American and singer(1935).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: You think you have computer problems? It could be worse!

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one.

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left?

Helpdesk: What is on your monitor now? Customer: A teddy bear. My boyfriend bought if for me at Walmart.

Helpdesk: Good day, May I help you? Male customer: I can't print. Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and... Male customer: Listen pal, don't get technical on me. I'm not Bill Gates.

Hi, this is Martha. I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'can't find printer.' I've even lifted it up and put it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.

As I prepare for takeoff to my new Journal home at Blogspot, here's my parting salute to AOL for discontinuing Journals.

That's it for today my little migrating geese. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

The Caca Has Hit The Oscillator !

2008-09-30T17:14:00.000-04:00

First and foremost, an emergency Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award is hereby awarded to AOL for letting AOL journalists know in October know that J-land is shutting down in November. The reason being given is that AOL is not making enough money.

Here's a suggestion. Fire all of the non-English speaking, Indian hacks that are posing as AOL technicians and hire Americans. Then, re-invest time and money into AOL Journals.

In the interim, I suggest that everyone start making an email list of all their favorite journalists as a means of contacting them when a new site for J-Land can be found. It seems to me that if a good blog site is contacted by J-Land representatives (to be determined) with the proposition that a good number of journalists will subscribe, the outcome will be better for all.

I have begun making inquiries today and will do so for the rest of the time available until J-Land shuts down. If anyone has any thoughts or ideas on this subject please contact me.

It's day two of let's find a way to further screw up the economy, headed chiefly by those zany, thieving politicians whose antics keep us on our toes. You have to understand that most politicians are not too bright by definition, for if they were, they'd be the ones escaping on golden parachutes.

Nay, my little buttercups, politicians trek through life unaware of the definition of economics and morality, staying steadfast to their plans to collect as much monies as they can get away with. The few who are already wealthy and/or educated, are only serving in politics to fluff their egos and further their legacies.

You see, smart people don't become politicians. They make as much as 100 times more than politicians and have no time for, or interest in, the politics of America. They do, however, use these little pinheads to further their own interest by contributing directly or indirectly to the politician's pockets. So, be patient, my little gun-toters, their doing the best that they can considering what they have to work with. I'm Jimmy and I approved this statement.

The Pictures: All the cat lovers, who, while enjoying yesterday's dog pictures, asked for equal time. So, today's pic's are from the world of cats. Cat's are a delicate bunch and not big on performing stupid people tricks. Rather, they are aware that cats were worshiped as gods many years age and they have never forgotten that.

It is unwise to meddle with cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer. They suffer from many different ailments but I have never met one who suffered from insomnia. They are also much smarter than dogs. If you do not believe this, try to get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow. One of my girlfriends once told me. "It's either me or the cat." I miss her, sometimes.

This Date In History: 1791; Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart conducts the premiere of his singspeil "The Magic Flute," just over two months before his death. 1927; Outfielder Babe Ruth of the New York Yankees hits his 60th home run of the season, breaking his own record and setting a mark that would last until 1961.

1946; Following World War II, the International Military Tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany sentences 11 leaders of Nazi Germany, including Field Marshall Hermann Goring, to death for crimes during the war. 1949; The Berlin airlift, caused by the Soviet blockade of overland traffic to West Berlin, ends after more than 277,000 flights from Western nations, which supplied the city with food and fuel for nearly 11 months.

1955; Actor James Dean dies at the age of 24 in an automobile accident in California, having starred in only three motion pictures. 1972; Pittsburgh Pirates outfielder Roberto Clemente collects the 3,000th and final hit of his career, three months before dying in a plane crash while on an earthquake relief mission.

Birthdays: My pal and fellow AREA 51 member, Anne. Have a happy birthday, Baby! (19XX), Park Chung Hee, South Korean president and brother of Park Place (1917), Truman Capote, writer (1924), Robin Roberts, baseball pitcher and brother of Robin Redbreast (1926), Elie Wiesel, novelist (1928), Martha Hingis, tennis player (1980).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming: Thanks to my pal, Garnett for the following quips.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

Mahatma Gandhi, a famed maker of excellent rice, walked barefoot most of the time. This produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

That's it for today my little mongeese. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

All Politicians Suck!

2008-09-29T17:12:00.000-04:00

Friday's trek to AREA 51 was very enlightening as my first stop was at Lakes Cafe and when I arrived, the first thing that I noticed was that all of the video machines had been removed from the premises, thus alerting me to that fact that the pending sale had been closed.

Sure enough, not five minutes later, I was introduced to the new owners and more importantly, the plans for changes and renovation are very positive. Having stopped at my pal, Emilio's house for some pre-flight fueling prior to going to lakes Cafe, I was already loose and ready for an interesting evening.

I ended up singing "After The Loving" (Engelbert Humperdink) in the karaoke show and after a few hours getting to know the new owners, Emilio and I headed over to The Billiards Club for a nightcap. As it turned out, there were quite a few of our friends there and we ended up staying there a little longer than expected.

The end result was that I remember that Emilio and I were talking with a young lady named Marta and then I went home. The next day, while browsing my cell phone, I noticed that Marta's cell phone number was in my phonebook and I swear, I have no idea how it got there. Oh, and I have no idea if I arrived home before or after the paperboy as I never saw the newspaper.

Paul Newman, who starred in more than fifty major movies in his acting career, died Friday at his home in Westport, Connecticut, at the age of 83. Newman, who was nominated for Oscars ten times, was a three Academy Award winner. He also won an Emmy award and a Golden Globe award. Besides acting, Newman was also a successful race car driver finishing fifth at Daytona in 1977 and second at Le Mans in 1979.

In 1984, Newman teamed with Carl Hass and formed Newman-Hass racing and joined the Cart open wheel series (now the Indy Racing League). The team has won 107 races and 8 championships.

Newman's Own, a brand he created in 1982 with writer and neighbor A.E. Hotchkin, began as a joke and started out with the marketing of his personal oil and vinegar salad dressing. The company has since become a household name with many products and all profits going to charities. In 2007, the company had donated more than 175 million dollars.

One of the few true gentlemen, Paul Newman's legacy will live on through his movies and the Newman's Own charities. May he rest in peace.

The Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award had one nomination this week. Jude, author of My Way nominated the CEO of Washington Mutual for his stellar helmsmanship in guiding the institution to failure. I concur wholeheartedly and my hopes are that his golden parachute fails to open. The CAT Award goes to the CEO of Washington Mutual.

Today's Thought: The one track, party minded lawmakers and politicians failed today in their feeble attempt to past the 700 billion dollar bail out, thus reassuring me that they are incompetent, ignorant and greedy assholes....and that's their good points!

The Pictures: Dogs are often in the news and for the most part, it's usually good news. Dogs sometime attack thieves, prowlers, street monkeys and the like, but that's because they're trained to do so.

Occasionally, however, you hear about dog attacks or people who have been bitten my dogs. Did you ever wonder why these normally affectionate animals go postal? The answer is in the pictures.

This Date In History: 1829; Legislation introduced by Sir Robert Peel reorganizes the London police force. Thereafter, London police will be known as "Bobbies," named after Peel. 1862; Otto von Bismarck, the newly appointed premier of Russia who will its wars of unification in the next decade, declares that "the great questions of the day" will be settled "by blood and iron."

1938; In the Munich Pact, France and Britain agree to Adolf Hitler's demand that the Sudetenland, a German-speaking region in Czechoslovakia, be ceded to Germany, in exchange for Hitler's assurance of peace. 1988; The United States space shuttle Discovery is launched, the first launch sincethe explosion of the space shuttle Challenger over two year before.

Birthdays: Miguel de Cervantes, novelist (1547), Horatio Nelson, naval commander (1758), Elizabeth Gaskell, novelist (1810), Enrico Fermi, physicist (1901), Lech Walesa Nobel laureate and president 0f Poland (1990-1995) (1943).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up and said, "I do...why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, " I just thoughtyou would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside."

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got him some water and after a few minutes, Silver began to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, please run circles around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him feel better." Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe," and took off running circles around Silver.

There was little the Lone Ranger could except wait so he returned to the bar to finish his beer. A few minutes later, another cowboy came into the bar and said, "Who owns that big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stands and says, "I do. What's wrong with him now?" The cowboy says, "Nothing, the horse is fine, but you left your Injun running."

That's it for today my little animal crackers. More tomorrow.

Stay Tuned !

Party Time !

2008-09-26T17:26:00.000-04:00

So now, they're calling it a "rescue plan." What everyone, including media and the government itself, referred to as a "Bailout" (sic), has been renamed so that they can more readily slip it into the nation's ass. The issue had been ostensibly agreed to, in principle, until late yesterday when the republicans came up with another idea.

The republican plan calls for the "rescue" to be financed by Wall Street, the greedy bastards who caused this mess, instead of John Q. Taxpayer. I agree with the idea that Wall Street should finance the plan as well. I also think that Washington politicians, in general, should help finance the plan out of their own lobbyist lined pockets, since it was their piss-poor management and oversight that allowed Wall Street and the banking industry to lead us to the current status.

It's finally Friday and I'll be heading over to AREA 51 for some recreation and to see my pals. I'm not really sure where I'm going, but my first stop will probably at Lakes Cafe. I'd like to find out the status of the pending sale to calculate if my main AREA 51 home base will remain there or if it's time to begin searching for a new watering hole. We'll see.

Former New York Yankee Joe Torre, who was summarily and rudely released by the New York Yankees, has led the Los Angeles Dodgers into the playoffs, while the Yankees are in the porcelain receptacle. How do 'ya like me now, Steinbrenner?

The Cat's Ass Trophy (CAT) Award has had no nominees this week as of today. I'm sure with the current events that you may have one or two nominees in mind. Nominations are open until Monday at noon.

The Pictures: The shots today are celebrities and politicians with computers. Kinda scary, huh? There's also a few of my strange ones to change the pace.

This Date In History: 1580; The British ship the Golden Hind, commanded by Sir Francis Drake, returns from it's around-the world journey bearing a cargo of spices and captured Spanish treasure. 1789; U.S. president George Washington appoints John Jay the nation's first chief justice of the Supreme Court and Thomas Jefferson its first Secretary of State.

1907; New Zealand, formerly a British colony, becomes a dominion within the British Commonwealth of Nations. 1960 In Chicago, Illinois, Democratic senator John F. Kennedy and Republican vice president Richard Nixon, stage the first televised debate between U.S. presidential candidates.

Birthdays: Theodore Gericault, painter (1791), T.S. Eliot, poet and critic (1888), Paul VI, pope (1897), George Gershwin, composer (1898).

The Hits Just Keep On Coming:

A Texas Air Traffic Control Conversation:

Dallas ATC:"Tower to Iran Air 666 - You are clear to land eastbound on runway 9R."

Iran Air: Thank you, Dallas ATC - We are clear to land eastbound on infidel's runway 9R - Allah is great!"

Dallas ATC: "Pakistan Air 7-11 - You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R."

Pakistan Air 7-11: Thank you, Dallas ATC - We are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R - Osama Bin Laden is the prophet!"

Pause.....static

Iran Air 666: "Dallas ATC! Dallas ATC! - You have cleared both our aircraft for the same runway going in opposite directions! We are on a collision course! Instructions Please!"

Dallas ATC: "Well bless your hearts. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah 'hey' for us - ya hear?"

That's it for today my little tumble weeds. Have a great and safe weekend and more on Monday.

Stay Tuned !

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